Should I bother with this guy - what should I do?

I have been dating a guy for 5 weeks. He has been mad busy at work working about 17 hours a day 7 days a week. So he has been crap - but we had a good connection so I have given him a chance. I work long hours in a stressful job too so I totally get it. When he had a week off work he was amazing - texting like 4 times a day and things were good. Last weekend we slept together for the first time and it was really good. I joked about it being a fling and he said 'you know we have a future'. But since then he has been back at work (long hours) and I haven't heard from him. I know that his job is making him feel depressed and that is kind of taking over his life (making him a bit selfish), but the big project he was on ended 2 days ago and I have had on very crap text. Do I just need to face facts that he is just not that into me and delete him from my life? I really like him but I have pride.


Most Helpful Girl

  • hmm, I just submitted a question of mine about this.

    my possible future boyfriend (hopefully haha) - we were talking, texting, etc for about a month and met up afterward. he was just finishing the semester and he knew that he'd be super busy with a 10-hr/day job plus another summer internship. he said things that insinuated he wants commitment, like "what do you want in a relationship?" (and when I answered he said flirtatiously, "I like the sound of that." he told me about his past two relationships, where he'd been very hurt, and he really digs honesty in a girl. he really seems like a caring guy. he wants to be a youth minister... he's genuinely nice and a good guy. perfect, right?

    about a month ago, he hadn't been responding to me, and finally he told me that he really liked being with me the last time we met but he thinks he's too overcommitted in these two summer gigs he's got, so he wants to wait through the summer and then get back together then. I agreed and he told me he'd for sure come hang out if he had the time.

    since then I haven't heard from him AT ALL. and I'm worried. after all of that is it possible he's lost interest? I don't know. I do know he hasn't logged online as much as before and he went MIA for two weeks haha. I know he's super busy.

    so the point of this very long, drawing story (my apologies) is that I have faith that things will still work out with me and him because he is a good guy and my intuition says that a guy like hi wouldn't abandon me without ever saying a word to me again. so, keep positive. if you really need to know, the next time you talk face-to-face or over the phone, just ask him if when he doesn't respond, is it just because he's busy? tell him you're a big girl and can handle rejection, if that's the case. speak with a rational tone and simply ask if he's serious about you.

    I hope things work out!


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What Girls Said 2

  • I know and understand that he is busy with work and is stressed out but if he liked you, wanted something to happen between you and cared about you then he would find time to send one message a day.

    Everyone is busy and has bad times and can get stressed out and work but if you like someone and want to be with them you can always find a couple of minutes a day to contact them.

    The other thing you need to think about is: Are you happy/can you see your self being happy with this guy? Can you handle being in a relationship with someone and not having much contact or time with them? If you can then go ahead and try and make it work. If you are not happy, can't see it working then end things now and move on before you get more feelings for him and get hurt.

  • I think it's about time you get out that nurturing feminine touch that we all girls pride ourselves on; I have a feeling your guy may just have the blues as of the moment due to either ; 1.) his stressful job, and 2.)you joking about what you said being just a fling. True, guys can be a tad dense most of the time, but they have feelings that wound easily if you push the wrong buttons. Maybe you gave him a really bad idea of where your relationship is heading and so he took it as as a sign to steer clear as of the moment, and focus on to other priorities.

    If it still doesn't make you peaceful (the silence, no phone calls, crappy texts), well then maybe you should begin to steer clear too and think of it as a lesson learned.

    Hope everything goes out well for you.