Help please compare these dates... is this guy using me?

Please compare:
Guy took me on hangout 1 to beach, then next day to beach, then 3rd day to eat at Baja Fresh.

I found out that 2 months before me, he took a girl to the most expensive restaurant on a date. She dumped him 2 weeks later.

What is happening.



Most Helpful Girl

  • "It's just that after I found out he "threw" money on the last girl, that it meant he desires me LESS and may have different intentions with me."
    Uhhh no. How much money he spends on you has nothing to do with his level of desire for you. He simply learned from his mistake = to not take a girl out to do some expensive stuff when you're not even serious yet. He doesn't want to waste money on you, since he's not sure if you're going to be like that last girl. He'd be broke if he took random girls out to the most expensive restaurant all the time. They would just end up using him for his money. He doesn't want you to use him for his money, hence, he's going on more low-key dates with you. It has nothing to do with you. He simply doesn't want to do the same mistake again.

    • thank you

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    • Honestly I thought that if he took her on an expensive date then it meant he held more VALUE for the other girl? If he has less value for me, then I shouldn't be going out with him, but how can i tell?

    • Nope. He took her on an expensive date because he was a dumbass who didn't think of all the possible outcomes. He didn't realize that he'd end up wasting a lot of money on nothing. Again, his level of desire for you has NOTHING to do with how much money he spends on your dates. You're better off analyzing his other actions and words.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He just learned from his mistakes. Women that expect to exploit him aren't worth having.

  • No he probably learned his lesson. It's not the price of the date that should count but how much she enjoyed it. I actually took a girl out and spent $40 on sushi (broke and in college so this was a big deal) the night was well bad. Took the same girl out months later bought two sandwiches for 12 dollars and took her to a free nature preserve and the night was borderline one of the best dates ever. Don't read into it. It just sounds like he's figured out it's more about the person than it is about the price tag.


What Girls Said 1

  • Holy female entitlement, Batman!

    What's happening is that he doesn't owe you an expensive date. You sound so conceited, implying that this man is using you because he didn't throw money at you like the last girl.

    Maybe he learned his lesson from the last girl, who used HIM to get free expensive goodies and he wasn't prepared to be fucked over twice. Good on him.

    Honestly, your question is making my stomach turn.

    • It's not that I'm conceited and expected him to throw money at me. It's just that after I found out he "threw" money on the last girl, that it meant he desires me LESS and may have different intentions with me.

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    • I have heard of girls from specific ethnic backgrounds who are very attractive and wealthy shun dates that are "below standard" meaning not expensive. The fact that these women get away with it is ludicrous--but I'd like to know why

    • Some guys also mention that guys want to put in the least amount of effort to get into a girls pants. What does effort constitute if not the amount of money spent?