Guys would you think im needy and desperate?

So i dated a guy in january- February and we hit it great, and he was amazing and we had a great time together.
But unfortunatly he didn't live in my town and things got harder, and we stopped talking for a little while, and i managed to ask him if he wasn't interested anymore, and he said he isn't looking for anything serious because he doesn't have the time for it.
He traveles a lot with work and school so i totally understand, and we met when he was on work buisness meetings..

and he got out of a 6 year long relationship last year.. but we have remained friends. . and at times he "likes" my posts on fcb.. and i know those mean nothing but still

well tomorrow is his birthday.. and we havnt spoken since april.. when it was my birthday.. he wrote on my wall
so should i write him an inbox message.. since he now does live in my town.. but he is currently in asia on vacation..

should i write him a inbox message saying happy birthday, hope you are doing well.. in hope of opening a new conversation with him.. or does that come off as needy? since he has said he wasn't looking for anything serious atm..
cause if a guy likes you he will reach out when he wants to talk right? so maybe a simple wall post is better?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can but I would simply say Happy Birthday". Saying "Hope you are doing well" sounds needy. Open the door with a Happy Birthday and let him come the rest of the way. If you have ever seen the movie Hitch? Go 95% of the way and let her come the other 5% for the kiss... It still applies here, you are just going the 5% first.

    • So just a simple wall post? Cause he did the same for me he didn't inbox me.. he could if he wanted to start a conversation.. I want the guy to come after me not the other way

    • Show All
    • You are right.. I need to stop chasing or showing I care

    • If he shows interest take the secure roll. I can live without you but show interest so it doesn't discourage him. Fine line.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yah sure, you ended things on a good note. No harm in a hbd wish. No, not desperate, you are just being a good person!


What Girls Said 2

  • That doesn't come off as needy at all, as long as you don't ramble to much. Sometimes guys need to be reminded that you're there, so message is a great way to do that without being too forceful and impersonal.

    • I guess im afraid of rejection.. cause if he is really intersted than he would contact me?

    • He might be afraid too. You never know. But a simple message like you said wouldn't hurt at all!

  • Leave the last part out until he decides to reply. If he dies, I'd say you are free to go about it.

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