Should I fight for him? Or just give up?

My friend recently introduced me to a guy at her church. He seems really lovely, kind, and easy going.
The first time we met, I saw him looking at me from afar, then he came and shook my hand, as my friend introduced us.
Then the next time I came to the church, my friend wasn't able to go, so went with my sister and brother inlaw instead. After church, he came right up to us after the service finished, and we spoke briefly, then he ended up talking to my brother inlaw for about half an hour.
I wasn't able to go last week, and I am aware that he went on two camps for kids inbetween now and then.
We ended up going just this past Sunday night again (my sister etc). I noticed the guy was there, but he was sitting next to some girl. Then after the service, he didn't come up to talk this time. He was talking with his friends, and the girl he was sitting with was still standing next to him, the whole time.
I felt kind of gutted over it, and like a bit of a loser, I felt disappointed.
My brother in-law went and joined the conversation, so I kind of had to follow him, as I didn't know anyone at the church.
Then my sister joined too, and started talking to the girl. Soon, my sister introduced me to the girl, and we spoke briefly, Then they kind of carried on their conversation. After that, the guy and I started to talk for a little while.
Then the girl interrupted our conversation, and said to him "I'm going to go and get my bag, do you want me to get your jacket?" And he agreed to this.
Then we all left after that. I turned to wave, and say bye to them both, he was friendly and waved, but she wasn't very friendly, and avoided eye contact with me.
I feel upset, I know I clearly don't know him very well. But he seemed interested to begin with. And nice normal guys in my general age group are becoming really rare. I really liked him.
I'm not competitive at all by nature. Should I compete and fight for him? (Which is what I usually do) or just give up?

  • Give up, clearly he is taken.
    Vote A
  • She was probably just acting territorial
    Vote B
  • Fight for him, before they are "official"
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Just to add on. I don't think they are a couple yet. But it looks like they could be soon if left the way they are.
She has been going to the church already for 2 years, but I think they got to know each other better on one of the kids camps.
My brother suspects that she is just being very territorial.
This has happened to me many times before. I meet a really great guy, but soon after, another girl comes along and pushes me out of the scene. I usually give up.
Any tips of what to do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Fight, fight, fight! He sounds nice, and you sound like you like him. I think he would have introduced her as his girlfriend in a show off manner that guys do if he was actually taken. The best thing to do is to get in contact with him, see and talk to him outside of church. Show him you are interested by talking to him and asking questions, and to meet up. You can do it!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It's hard to tell if they are dating or they just met.. Most girls give that look if they are in the process of getting a guy

  • I wouldn't pursue him. If you become friends and you two really have compatible personalities, I think you two will figure it out.

  • They seem not in relationship but a few days later it will be. Fighting can make you obsessive about this and can give tyou stress and sadness. You should wait, you can't break them so after time when you see him, things will happen. Wait for next church time.

  • She could've been his sister.


What Girls Said 5

  • Did you even bother to ask if he was taken? She may be his GF, or she may be in the same boat you're in, and hoping you won't make a move before she can. Just ask. You don't even have to ask him, you can ask some one in your family if they know.

    • But no one in my family knows either, they know them as well as I do. They're in the same boat as me. I'm going to ask my friend, who introduced us if she can try to find out.
      I am a person who is very respectful if relationships. If it turns out that she is his girlfriend, obviously I will back off.
      But, if she is not, I don't see why I should always be the one to give up time and time again when ever another girl is interested in the same guy as I am.

    • If he's single and you want him, then yes, you should go for it! Good luck :)

    • Thanks :)

  • I get is why you think you should fight, but i'd never try to take a guy from any woman... it's undignified.

    Anyways, you need to make sure she is his girlfriend for real before you make any decisions.

    • But it would only be considered taking a guy from a woman if he was actually hers, which he is not. If her interest is equal to mine, I don't see why I should be the one to give up.

    • Show All
    • Croatia. But I'm sure it's the same in that respect as in Australia.

    • Yes, it is the same.

  • Don't give up. Fight for him if you really want him. And if it doesn't work out then oh well. You will find the one for you a different day.

  • The question is would he fight for you?
    But yes she was being territorial. Whether you chose to fight or not don't get caught up.

  • Well if you really really like someone then you keep fighting till they are all yours, but, if you aren't really into them but have a little spark, then, what's the point. But, remember no one likes a needy and desperate person!!!