Dont understand this girl about hanging out?

I dont feel like explaining signs about whether she's interested or not, instead ill explain her about hanging out

-First off i met her through a dating site. We met for the first time after a month and a half, and she admitted the only reason she met me was because she was drinking that day (she says she's extremely shy and can't even go to a store by herself)

-Shes asked me a couple times to hang out first, but she would flake out. One time i suggested a hookah bar and she said "Ok sure, just know im going without make up... actually never mind i dont feel like waiting" (she didn't say this rudely)

-Whenever i ask her to hang out, she'll ALWAYS say/do "Maybe", "We'll see", or ignore me

-I had asked her straight up why she always gives me the above responses or ignores me, and i asked if she was simply not wanting to hang out. she said she means it when she says "maybe" or "We'll see" cause "her mood is always changing" (she has severe depression btw, and social anxiety as i said)

-Sometimes ill kinda pressure her to hang out (i haven't seen her in an entire month now) and she'll go "your pissing me the f*ck off" but i dont get why? who gets annoyed that someone asks them to hang out?

anyway what do i do? whats going on in her head?

  • let her ask you to hang out
    Vote A
  • other (post what)
    Vote B
  • move on
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is an interesting question for me as I actually have social anxiety and depression as well so I understand the mentality she is in. When she is saying maybe or we'll see it really is just dependant on her mood. I know for myself, I hate giving a firm yes, because even if i want to see the person I can't always guarantee I'll be up for it, and I hate having to cancel last minute. It is extremely difficult to date someone in this position, I can understand that for sure. It sounds like she wants to but isn't sure how to handle the situation. I'd probably be quite blunt and say something like "I miss you, I had a really nice time getting to hang out with you and I'd love to do it again, I understand you have some anxieties but I was just wondering if there was anywhere you'd like to go or anything you'd like to do that would make it easier for you to see me?" See how she responds, if she sounds vague, eventually you may have to tell her that as much as you like her, you need to be able to see her in person, and ask her if she think she can do that? It could be at home watching a movie, or out at an aquarium or even for drinks, whatever she wants, but tell her as much as you want this to work, it can't happen if you never see each other in person. Tell her you don't want to sound pushy, and you don't want her to feel uncomfortable but it's just something you'd really like to be able to do, and if it can never happen you need to move on, but that's not what you want. At the end of the day, this needs to work for both of you, and it doesn't sound like it is for you. You have to honour that. Hopefully after a talk like that if will clear the air and allow you to move forward. Good luck!

    • im still confused what she means by "dependent on her mood"

      i also dont get this that you said "It sounds like she wants to but isn't sure how to handle the situation."

    • Show All
    • Hey :) so is that a bad thing that "She doesn't want to tie you down or prevent you from moving on,"

      i would think if she likes me, she would want to prevent me from moving on to be there for her when she's ready... right? I don't know lol.

    • Hey! :) Firstly, don't feel like a dick. If the situation isn't working for you, you need to honour that. I will read the other convo after I answer here :)

      Second off, it's not a bad nor good thing, it just means she doesn't want to put pressure on the situation, and doesn't want the extra stress of trying to keep you interested while trying to get better. It just means she's not ready, doesn't say anything about whether she likes you or not. I think anyways.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • i think the fact that she is on a dating website but doesn't want to meet you or hang out means that she is wasting your time and she knows it!

  • Maybe she pms's all the time. I think you should move on. Find someone else. GoodLuck.


What Guys Said 1

  • she's getting annoyed because you're being persistent after she has to repeat herself over and over again dude:P