Dating advice needed! The guy I'm seeing doesn't seem to know how to spend time together?

I need advice !! Im dating this guy he is used to a lot of alone time and we see each only about once or twice every few weeks and whenever I see him I suggest we go and do something he may not wanna because it is to far out of the way or he has done it before. eg. go walk somewhere , go to dinner... he says the things i suggest aren't things he likes but then he doesn't know what else to do... nor does he suggest... and its not he just wants to sleep with me because we aren't even having sex we just muck around with each other so far.

I might say lets go to dinner but he won't want to because its over 20 mins drive and he doesn't see the point. im kinda of confused about what I can say we should do when he doesn't seem to know anything to do or like any of the things i suggest... then he says he likes being around me but just doesn't know what to do so we just sit there or cuddle and watch tv but then he gets frustrated because we aren't doing anything ! He says its just him and not me and he just doesn't know what to do to entertain someone else. Is he depressed? or im just really confused. He says he needs mental stimulation and he gets annoyed if we cuddle for to long but then he doesn't know what else to do? what can i do please help


Most Helpful Guy

  • A common mistake I see women making is that they credit their boyfriends for their potential instead of for who they are today. This sounds like the same issue... you're completely ignoring the facts of your relationship because you're holding onto hope that he'll become the man you deserve, with time and patience. But you're wrong.

    Obviously it's your life and your choice.

    But you can't buy expired milk and hope that tomorrow it's going to taste better. And you can't persuade your man to suddenly be interesting and fun.

    Instead you need to choose more wisely... when you see red flags like "he doesn't see the point in driving 20 minutes out of the way in order to have an interesting dinner with his fun girlfriend" then you need to give those red flags the attention they deserve.

    He's not going to change, and as a matter of fact he's only going to get worse.

    When a guy is really into his girl he'll drive hours out of his way to spend time with her. When he's not really into her he'll have excuses.

    You need to face the facts and give yourself permission to be with someone who values you for who you are, and not hold onto someone convenient who's never going to get better.

    Don't settle, you're worth it.


    ~ Robby

    (My Blog )


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What Guys Said 2

  • Do yourself a favor. Stop trying to figure him out and find a guy who wants to do things with you and isn't so difficult about it. This guy is only going to give you headaches. I don't know if he's depressed, has aspergers or what, but you want to be with someone who puts effort into the relationship. Right now he isn't and trying to figure him out and fix the problem isn't going to help you one bit.

  • Jesus. He's either in depression or genuinely an unmotivated carpet. Or he's just not that into you.


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