Why she won't commit to a relationship?

She has clothes, bathroom stuff, food etc.. At my place and 95% of the time she stays at my pace with me, in my bed. We do everything from kiss to have sex. She will hold my hand and kiss me when she leaves. People that don't know us assume we are dating. She says she doesn't want a relationship or commitment. My question is why? I mean we basically are dating there just isn't a label. I almost feel like she wants to be available if something comes up or something. What should I do? I want to be in a relationship.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Could be multiple reasons.
    - She doesn't want to get hurt. If it's official and something happens that makes the two of you break up, it would hurt more compared to just treating it as a fling and then going your separate ways at some point.
    - She doesn't want to feel "cheated" on. Meaning, if you happen to have a girl on the side, she knows that she doesn't have the right to feel hurt since you're not official. If you were together and you ended up cheating on her, it would feel worse.
    - She isn't ready to commit. Simple as that. She wants to be single and play the field.
    - She just got out of a relationship and you're the rebound (this one I'm not sure about, as you didn't say anything about her previous relationship (s), but it could be a reason nonetheless).
    - She's waiting for someone else, and while she's waiting she's having some fun with you.
    - She doesn't want to feel the pressure of a relationship, but she wants all the privileges of one (sex, cuddling, kissing etc).
    - She likes the attention you're giving her, it gives her an ego boost.

    Those are a few reasons I could come up with off the top of my head. It could be multiple of them, it could be only one of them, it could even be none of them. I don't know, since I don't know her and I don't know what she's thinking.
    If you want to be in a relationship, you need to tell her straight up one last time that it's either a relationship or nothing. Because honestly, if you want a relationship, then you shouldn't have to settle for some kind of fling. You shouldn't have to keep being her fling either, in the hopes that it'll turn into something more. If she's not ready, then she should stop playing with you and be more upfront. Talk to her.


What Guys Said 1

  • Ask her to define a relationship. If it's the same thing, then it's the same thing. Otherwise just tell her you want time apart because you want someone who's really serious about a relationship.