Starting off in a long distance relationship... good idea? bad idea?

Sooo I started off my relationship with this guy via long distance. We had a very strong connection. So strong that it felt like I knew him for years on the first date. He flew out to see me, then I did the same In return. But we sort of drifted off from each other because he "supposedly" didn't trust me, but I found out that he began trying to date someone else! All because he thought I was dating other people at the same time. Now that we live in the same city, he wants to start over & try again. What do you guys think? Should I give him a second chance? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt?

Update: I found out he was dating someone else as soon as he began exclusively dating me. Then he is return began to doubt me because I had to work [just getting started in my career] and was not able to attend an event that was important to him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Those that don't trust almost always cannot be trusted. And then look what you found out. Classic. So my first instinct is a no. But, you live in the same city now, you might have a second go at it. Why not? Any funny business on his end at all and I'd end it immediately. He is on probation. Just don't shove it in his face. I wouldn't even bring it up honestly. Just, be aware.

    • I'm not even sure how to communicate that to him since he is in the military and mentioned that "he wanted to prove to me that he is worth being with." As a girl with emotions and its been almost 2 years since my last relationship, I'm sucking up & falling hard.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • LDL is one of the hardest relationships that two people can ever hold down. I, for one, know this probably better than anyone. I am married to a man out in Egypt, whom I have lived with on an off with out there for nearly three years now. Online and off, we have had many ups and downs, a lot of it was my fault. However, we seem to make it work, due to our bond and strong love.
    On his part, as a good Muslim man, he never cheated, although I admit I am guilty of this. However, he has always forgiven me, trying to understand me. I know that I have messed up with it, and I am working on correcting myself.
    I always believe in giving someone a second chance. There have been many misunderstandings when it was this LDL, and Now is his chance to prove himself. It sounded like a trust and insecurity problems. And he made a lot of boo boos with this.
    Try it out, take him back. Although it may take some time on your part to ever Trust him again, tell him point out that if he does Anything to stab you again, he will Never be given another 'Second' Anything, for you are Not into Sloppy seconds.
    Being 'Exclusive' is one thing... You need to really start things out Differently this time around by having him make this----Official. Find out where you stand.
    Good luck. xx

    • Reflecting back, we both did have insecurity issues with one another. Thanks so much for the advice!

    • Yes, this is a Given when it's distance... And even now, my husband has This with me.. You're so very welcome... xx

  • You both had bad luck in the begining. I think it is not bad it all giving another chance. I say go with it. Give him a chance. You will see later.