Why do guys push girls away when they're stressed out?

This guy that I'm seeing is having mood swings. He's away for school and being away from home is really depressing him. He shows me that he likes me and tells me that he's excited to see me when he comes home when he's happy but when he's stressed out he's very cold with me I try to stay positive when I talk to him and he appreciates it but I don't know what else to do? Help please!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys don't multitask well, and when they're stressed out, the way they deal with it is to BE ALONE. They need to let their brain sort things out, and they can only do that when they aren't distracted, and girls are always distracting (even if it's often in very wonderful ways).

    You know how girls need to TALK about everything? What would happen if you literally couldn't share your feelings and your day with anyone, for weeks or months at a time? You'd probably explode or go insane, because you have an innate NEED to share. You can't help it - that's just the way you are, because that's how women evolved to be. But if someone asked you to change that about yourself, it would be incredibly difficult at best, and probably impossible.

    That's how this is for guys: it's just how we manage stress, and nothing else works for us. He's not doing it because of anything you've done, or to shut you out, but because his brain needs uninterrupted "processing time", or even just time to think about ABSOLUTELY *NOTHING*, in order to solve the problems it is facing. He couldn't change that even if he wanted to.

    So, don't take it personally, because it is nothing against you - he would act the same with any girl he was with, because it has nothing to do with the girl - he'd act the same way if he was single. He's a man, and that's how men work.


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What Guys Said 2

  • i push away anybody in general when i'm stressed, male or female. especially if that particular person is either not helping me out. the reason why i do this is because when i'm stressed i need time alone so i can focus and think clearly on solving the problem that is causing me to stress.

  • And there's the pot calling the kettle black. I feel like more guys complain about that than girls.

    Nevertheless, it's probably either because he wants to look strong around you and is throwing up a less-than-ample facade to hide his feelings or because he is just really distracted.


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