Is she hinting or am I just plain an idiot at this? Need help with a couple questions? Thank you in advance?

I never wanted to or even had a feeling like this but as soon as I met this woman, I feel like a cat that just ate the canary and cannot stop smirking... I can barely speak with her (she works as a bartender at my regular spot) due to my smirking.

So this last time instead of getting my regular drink (vodka neat with a vodka tonic chaser) I asked her to recommend a drink and she picked an apple martini, and I thought that was the cutest thing ( I would have drank poison out of her hands that night) then she came around and snapped a picture, at first I was doing the hover hand over the small of her back but something told me to not be such an idiot then I grabbed her close and she did not seem to object and started smiling.

She told me all about her cruise that she went on with her ex-boyfriend (36 years old) and her current roomate (that is the ex but he has a Gf). She told me about what she wanted to do in school (she is 26) and it was international studies which cracked me up because that was my original major and we laughed a little... I am smitten by this woman. She made sure to check my credit card for my name (I go with a nickname so she was surprised what it was actually).

So in short... I need help guys/gals because if I do not do this I feel like I will regret it the rest of my life...

1) Is there a relevance for her to mention that her ex was 36 (I am 30)?

2) Does her snapping a picture mean anything special or was she just amused as to how stupid I looked with a appletini?

3) Do I need to frequent the bar more on her shifts or should I just leave it to chance? (rotating shifts I think, plus with my work schedule) Plus I do not want to intrude because at the end of the day she is working there.

4) What is a good way of asking her out?

I felt so happy drinking that appletini, something that I have not felt in a long time and I felt like it was OK being me around her... any advice is much appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say just based off of you statement of regretting if you do not ask her out then yes you absolutely need to ask her out. Relevance to mentioning age, she may be mentioning so that you are aware that she is not opposed to dating older men.

    Snapping the picture could mean a few different things. One it could just be her innocently flirting to keep tips going. It could also mean she does think your cute and she really wanted you to have a picture or her with you. I suppose the question to figure out the relevance would be did she suggest the picture or did you suggest the picture? If she did then you have a pretty good chance that she has some kind of attraction to you.

    As for how often you frequent this place and if her shift is different each time, I would be a little leery on doing that simply because you do not want to seem stalkerish. If you are interested in her and would like to ask her out simply ask her out. Find some kind of cute creative way that doesn't come across as a bar pick line. It would need to be something unique since she has probably heard a lot of pick up lines before. You mentioned international travel was something you had in common, so maybe ask her to lunch at some exotic food place. Using the excuse of international exploration. Lunch is a lot less intimate then dinner and less of a commitment. So she might be more incline for a quick lunch or coffee all in the name of experience a different culture right around the corner.

    Either way I think the old adage nothing ventured nothing gained fits well here. If you don't try you will always regret it. If you do try at least you will know and more then likely will turn out better then you expected. Good Luck =)

    • Thank you for the comment. Much appreciated, she suggested the picture...

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Here's my advice, stop going to that bar. She's not interested but she's merely trying to pay her bills - for instance, observe how she is with other regulars, and you will see that this is how she keeps business steady. If you don't believe me, then tell her, ask her what she likes doing, if she likes reading, say "you know, I know this book club, do you want to check it out sometime when you're not around a bunch of inebriated train wrecks?" She'll flat out say no. Gotta move on.

    • Well brother man thank you for the response. Cannot select most helpful on a single response but appreciate it.

    • No problem. Appreciate that.