What is your definition of a narcissist?This is a long one so thanks for going to the effort of reading, opinions are appreciated?

There's a general overview in psychology that a narcissist is someone who:
-Believes they're better than others
-Fantasises about power, success and attractiveness
-Exaggerates achievements or talents
-Expects constant praise and admiration
- Believes that they're special and act accordingly
-Fail to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
-Expect others to go along with your ideas and plans
- Expresses disdain for those you feel are inferior
-Trouble keeping healthy relationships
-Have a fragile self-esteem
-Appear as tough-minded or unemotional

I actually agree with most of that and think my ex suffered from a severe form of narcissism. He always wanted me to do what he wanted without considering my personal circumstances. His track record of girlfriends (over 30 sexual encounters at the age of 25) and the photos he still keeps on Facebook serve his ego but also give the impression he has never been happy. He's always been the one to break off relationships. After breaking up with me he was soon onto someone else and has moved in with her within a few months. Added to that, he still tries to talk to me when he sees me about all his achievements and exaggerates things he's done. He will tell friends and colleagues about the fun and exciting things in his life but won't ask people about their day or how they are. He is very much all about himself and the image he creates for the public. Clothing, good food and objects and attractive women are what he cares for most but will constantly ridicule people who he believes are inferior to him. All this destroyed my self confidence and I felt like a lost soul for quite a while because it made me feel like I was never good enough even though I was told otherwise by people.

What are your definitions of a narcissist and have you ever met one who fits that description above.

I would love to hear your stories


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was married to one and looking through the list you posted, I would have to say a big yes to the entire list. It is a huge emotional drain being in a relationship with a narcissist. My marriage eventually ended when I found out that she had been cheating on me with a colleague at her work for almost half our marriage. Simply put, the guy she was having an affair with said all the right things (for all the wrong reasons- all centered on her of course and she loved it). I was very confused when I found out. I always considered myself to be a good guy. I provided a lovely home, took her away on overseas holidays, planned special times together, arrived at home with flowers (very often, as I am a die-hard romantic) and always made a huge effort to center many a conversation on her. It is very tough to please a narcissist. In fact, if you are a regular person, it's near impossible to make them happy...

    The most devastating thing about it all was when I found a document she had printed (basically a love letter to the other guy) where she made me out to sound like Adolph Hitler's "slightly more" evil twin... The person she was speaking about in her letter, simply wasn't me... Of course, now I realize that she made it up to justify and give credibility to what she was doing. She made it sound like she was an abused person who's husband chased anything in a skirt... which is so very far from who I am and how I live my life.

    So yes, been there, done that... and would rather remain single and happy for the rest of my life than try and make (and keep) someone happy who simply lives their life by a very different set of rules...

    • I'm so sorry to hear that. Some people have really unstable personalities. They don't understand or regret the damage they do to the person they're involved with. I really feel for you. It takes so long to recover from it no matter how long the relationship.
      We broke up because of a number of factors which he couldn't seem to empathise with. I was expected to flexible to his needs but mine not taken into account. Stupid thing is, several months on I still miss him and yhe connection we had.
      Unfortunately I have to work with him so completely avoiding contact is difficult.

    • I feel for you too... and it is quite human to miss him (which is a good thing) ... It took me forever to come to terms with everything and I imagine even tougher for you, given that you work with him... hang in there, sometimes when we are so focused on a challenging relationship we often miss all the other amazing things life has to offer... you just have to go out and live it... Good luck...

    • Thank you :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Here are some characteristics of a Narcissist:

    1. They lie
    2. They look down on others
    3. They refuse to take responsibility
    4. They are two-faced
    5. They can be vindictive
    6. They prefer laughing AT people than WITH them
    7. They are bullies
    8. They are very childlike
    9. They believe that no matter what happens they will prevail – because they see themselves as being invincible
    10. They believe that whatever bad things they do, they will be forgiven and will ultimately triumph
    11. They are fearless to the point of being insanely unrealistic
    12. They have persistent fantasies about attaining success, power and wealth – they are obsessed with it
    13. They are incapable of compromise and need to win
    14. They thrive on evoking reactions and emotions – whether negative or positive – both give them a “high”
    15. They cheat on their partners
    16. They are NOT capable of “real” love as normal people know it. They are more interested in being in control and feeling important and special than ever being loved by someone
    17. They manipulate people to go against their own values willingly
    18. They USE people as puppets, pawns and commodities, burning them out and then moving on to their next victim.
    19. They do not value people, do not miss them or love them because that involves bonding emotionally at various levels and the ability to bond is MISSING.

  • Yeah it sure as he'sll sounds like it

    • I'm glad you agree. I thought I was going crazy and over thinking things.

      thanks for taking the time out to read my question :)

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