When should I ask him about our 'relationship status'?

I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. We have amazing physical chemistry, but we also get along really well and he makes me happy. The only thing is that we see each other once a week, but that is unfortunately unavoidable with our different work schedules.

I just want to ask him 'his intentions' I guess, if he is seeing other people at this point, but I don't want to come across as being needy. I do want to ask him though, because I am really starting to like-like him (lol), and I just don't want to invest myself in someone who is doesn't want the same things.

What should I do/say? Any advice would be much appreciated! :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going through the same thing right now. But we have been seeing each other for 3 months now. I asked him what we were maybe the 2nd month we were seeing each other. I like him sooo much that I had to get it out there. So I was just honest with him and asked him if we were going anywhere because I didn't want to waste my time on something that may not happen. He told me that he was into me and that he wasn't interested in dating other girls besides me. So we made a little commitment that we will only see each other and see how it goes without fully rushing into a relationship.

    After that talk, me and him have been closer than ever. (:

    Goood luckk!

    • Wow, thank you so much!!! This really helps hearing from someone with a similar experience. I'm so glad that you two were able to talk about it, and that it actually made you two closer. I just want to know if he isn't seeing anyone else, which is what you had inquired about too... the 'relationship' part will come later, but to know where I stand will be comforting and make me more open with my feelings. Thank you SO much!! I think I'm ready to be honest with him the next time I see him :)

    • Yeah i had no idea where i stood, and i was driving myself crazy for not knowing if he was seeing other girls or where i even stood. But definitely do it soon rather than later or else your never going too! Good luck and tell me how it goes!!!

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What Guys Said 3

  • you can bring it up casually and in a polite manner. tell him you see the both of you being together or something along the lines of that and then ask him the same question. or see if he wants to start dating exclusively.

    • Thanks! If you were dating someone for two months, would you get freaked out if she started to ask questions about where things were going?

    • Show All
    • Thank you!! I've been holding it off every time we see each other, but after every date... I regret not bringing it up. I don't want to pressure him, but I just want to know where his head is at with me, and my gut & heart are telling me to do it :)

    • I can never go wrong with my gut and I usually always lean towards the direction my heart is falling. 20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do rather than the things you did do. - Mark Twain

  • BertMacklinFBI is right. Another way to approach it would be to ask are you looking for a relationship? This way it is brought up casually and gives him the idea that you want something more.

    • Yup, I definitely agree with asking him casually... I just don't want to scare him. Do you think 2 months is a reasonable amount of time to talk, or should I wait a bit longer?

    • I always tell people to do the actions you want to do the way you yourself want it to happen to you. Confusing, but pretty much let's say he wanted to understand your intentions as well. Would you be scared away if he asked you 2 months later? I know people who ask this question only after a couple of dates. As stated before, don't just out of the blue ask "what do you think about us being together," but just bring it up casually. It won't scare him away.

    • I like that way of thinking. I would want him to bring it up now, it would actually make me feel a lot better if he did lol. He and I often say things to each other that kind of insinuate it, but there has never been any 'talks'. I'm such an awkward person when it comes to 'feelings' lol (he asked me if he could hold my hand), so I'll say stuff like "I like your face" when I really just want to tell him how I feel. I think I am going to go with my gut and just bring up the issue of seeing other people... I don't need the gf/bf talk right now... but the fact that we are sleeping together would make me feel more secure knowing :)

  • Just ask him lol, he might be answering you in a playful manner ;)
    If he just wants to having fun, hooking up then you can't really force him though..

    • Definitely, I wouldn't want to force him to do anything. And it's fine if that's what he's looking for, I just am not so I would want to know now so that I can figure things out, if that makes senses haha.

What Girls Said 1

  • In my experience, I found if I had to ask then that pretty much summed up where the relationship is. If it is at a stand still and I don't know where are in the relationship then it really isn't going anywhere.

    It's just from my personal experience and of course every relationship is different. I however prefer a relationship with someone that is progressive and I know right away that the person feels the same way as I do. But it never hurts to ask :)

    • I definitely agree with you. I know people say that if you have to ask, then you aren't in a relationship. But then, when will you really know? That's what I think at least haha. But for right now, I'm not asking him if we are exclusive but more-so where his head is at/his intentions. We have slept together and he has met my parents (and is willing to meet my friends this weekend), so it does seem right to ask... but I am just scared that two months is too soon. I have gotten hurt in the past, so I have this guard up a lot, and I'd rather know now than get hurt a lot more later on :/