How to deal with a man who is trying to get a reaction out of you, by saying horrible things?

I believe that my boyfriend has worked out how to annoy me. We had an argument the other day, and i decided to use another tatic... i ignored him all the way on the journey home. However for me i felt SO angry inside like i came home to y family and ended up arguing with them.
I am used to being very blunt and fronting people out when i argue, i do not hold back atall.
However, it has go tot the point that even a text from my boyfriend angers me because i feel like evryhting he does he does to annoy.
When we were travelling home after the argument, because i was ignoring him, he was saying - oh you are a weak person, a coward you can't speak. then he sais - oh i dont know about you any more... and other horrible things.
after a few days we spoke and i said -- what do you mean you dont know about me? HE goes, oh i was trying to annoy you to make you speak.
HOW can i deal with these situations, i tell you what, i feel like smacking him over the head with a brick but id rather not go to prision...

how can i deal with someone trying to anger me, and say horrible things.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let me guess... you're fairly attractive or very attractive.

    It sounds like negging to me. Putting you down to raise his own value. Ditch the idiot.

    • It could be, and its really working. My self esteem especially when round him drops considerably. But i still am with him after putting up with this for 3 years ha :/

    • Show All
    • So true, it all makes sense. But i guess you have to take a step back to see whats really going on, like everyone i know has already been saying!!
      But thank you, what you said has really helped!

    • No worries. I believe everyone should have as much fun as possible in life. If it ain't fun what's the point? :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Just ignore him, he'll soon get the message.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well I did this sort of thing to my ex, though I did it because I spent a year trying to get him to talk to me so I would end up getting angry and pick a fight to get him to say something even if it was just to fight about our problems so we could get some semblance of them being resolved.
    I never cut him down like that though, don't let him do that to you. It isn't fair to you or right in any way.

  • Why is he so angry? Why does he feel so insecure that he feels the need to aggravate the person he is supposed to love? Do you love him? It doesn't sound like it.

    Love is patient and love is kind. If someone is trying to make you angry, ask yourself: what kinds of fears might be causing them to do this? Then try to help them. You are strong enough to look beyond your own anger... right? Be a bigger person, and love in spite of being hated. This applies not just to your boyfriend, but EVERY time someone is trying to hurt you.

    People who try to hurt other people are tortured themselves. They are hurting. Don't torture them back. Give them the unconditional love they so desperately crave, but are too proud to ask for. Next time he does this, give him a big long hug and say, "I love you". Then ask him what's wrong. Then, just sit and listen to what he says without interrupting for as long as he wants to talk.

    That will fix the problem. Turn the other cheek. Forgive. Always.