Should I move on, or could I wait a little longer?What do you think my chances are?

We've been Facebook friends for 2 months.1 month ago I started a totally friendly chat with him, as I really liked his art, and he liked mine. I talked to him maybe twice, we chatted for hours. Fun.
A month goes by he invites me to this gallery event, to which I went with friends. Met him in person, talked a bit, good vibes, even it seemed to me that he likes me a bit. Me and my friends didn't stay long.
Next morning he texted me to thank me for coming and we ended up talking for a while again. He invited me casually to this gig the same day, to which we didn't go but I was already curious about him. Couple of days later I initiated a chat, and again it was awesome. In the end I asked very casually when we'll get to see each other again. (Maybe it's a mistake, maybe not, he seems shy too) We agreed on Thursday.
Four days go by I don't hear from him. Thursday noon I got impatient, didn't wanna be that girl who sits at home and waits by the phone to know if and when we're actually meeting so I texted him. (For sure a mistake.. if judging by the book and rules and sh*t). He replied he remembers of course.
We met, it turned into a date, lots of eye contact, smiling, awesome conversations and communication. Spent 6h together. He payed for the date, waited with me for an hour to get me a cab. Somewhere in the middle of the date we kissed.
That's a guy who's only had one very long serious relationship (6+ years), hasn't had another for 3 years now, said he wasn't always ready to work on relationships. But in the long run of course doesn't want to be alone. After he kissed me I kinda freaked out on the inside, felt the need to tell him I'm not into one night stands. We continued the date as usual, but I felt stupid.
Anyhow, that was on Thursday.
Haven't heard from him since. I figured if at all, it would take him time, considering the facts.
Can't help but think that if he really was available, for me, he would have called or initiated contact by now.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds to me, as wise as I am, that being it has been 5 days and No word, as rude and crude as he has been, he is also giving you this 'Helpful hint' that he doesn't want to Start Something that he knows he can't And won't finish right now.
    When he told you that 'he wasn't always ready to work on relationships,' however, 'Didn't want to be alone' neither, he may have been Hymning and hawing that he just wanted even a Friends with benefits factor. And with hearing what you had told him, he left things as they were----Last nite stand, and most likely 'Considered the facts' that Nothing was going to come out of Any of This. So he had a change of heart.
    He was probably 'Available' as far as Another round meeting, but wasn't Ready for what he felt could end up a Real relationship, and he wasn't willing to go out on a limb and take any chances with you, even be bothered.
    Being he has now put you on his pay no mind list, consider the source, move on to someone who does More than talk to your hand, and someone who wants more in life than even a----One nite stand.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thank you, Paris13.
      When he said he doesn't want to be alone, he meant it the long run, love, in the future, or in general.
      Just apparently not with me..

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What Guys Said 1

  • Possibilities include firstly--me being male, he being an artist, and with a nod to the great womanizers Picasso and Dali--he is playing you for a friend with benefits. Never mind that he had that long relationship, he's over it. He seems to be in the public eye with his art, thus meeting women is not a challenge for him, so I do not believe that he has not had another girl for the past three years.

    My second speculation, related to the first, is that he is waiting for you to contact him, but I don't know social protocol in your area. In this constellation, he could be a social recluse, overcome with shyness, and despite my first paragraph he remains deeply disturbed by the trauma of the mentioned earlier relationship. Haha! Not likely, but who knows with a sensitive artist? Can you rule out the possibility that he just wants to sell his art to you? It seems that he invested too much time and energy with you just for that (and that kiss means he is most likely not gay).

    Finally, again allowing him benefit of doubt, he is star-struck by you and his head is buzzing with the possibility of another relationship, which might intimidate him. After all, you guys, both being artists, would be compatible, I think, and he could be preparing himself mentally for an emotional rollercoaster romance. He does not feel, I am sure, that you have rejected him already.

    He has not called. To break this impasse, you can prod him with a text or call. If that fails to motivate him, well then you can write this whole thing off as just another curious episode. I sense that you are an attractive woman with Nature working in your favor romantically whatever the outcome of this event.

    • Hi, thanks for the reply!
      On the first scenario.. it does sound and look most logical to me, he did say he went out with a couple of girls but none of them is defined as an "ex" it was never serious. When I asked him what was the hardest thing in life he had to do, he said it was moving on from his ex. I do think he might be putting her on a pedestal.
      He's got quite a few friends and is indeed a pretty busy guy from what I see. That being said, he's not such a rockstar. He always appreciates every compliment from me and seems a bit touched :).
      I believe he has no reason to think that I'm not interested. We were talking about "next time" and stuff like that. Kissed more than ones, gazed into each others' eyes till we couldn't help but smile like silly people. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm interested.
      Do you really believe the 3rd scenario is an option or were you being cynical?:) If you weren't then how long would that take? I don't wanna initiate anymore, and ruin whatever chance

    • If you want to make contact with him, try this, which has worked on me before, and seems to be something girls in my area do. Call him and tell him you need his skill or advice concerning something he knows about. Otherwise, you can tell him you need or want to go somewhere but don't want to go alone--will he go with you? Again, you might call him and tell him you are stranded somewhere due to car breakdown, losing your purse and can't buy local transportation, and so on. People remain unpredictable despite the effort of nearly two centuries of psychological science, so it may be impossible to predict what an artistic mind, which tries to see all angles, would be thinking. But if you feel you have a green light for this relationship, that would be a good sign he feels the same way about your recent interaction. He could be just tied up with the demands of his life.

What Girls Said 1

  • Wait, IF you think she's worth waiting..