Does anyone date before they enter relationships or just see where it goes? What do you think dating is really about?

I think dating is important to get to know people before getting to know someone. I have found that in my past relationships depending on the situation, I never really dated even though I may have been pursuing that person I ended up with. Now that I know what I really want and will not tolerate, I'm realizing the importance of dating. I know people that date multiple people at the same time and they say it is increasing their chances of meeting someone special but I don't think going that route is for me. Just one at a time. What are everyone's thoughts on dating and how you should date? How long should you date before becoming official? Any tips would be useful.

  • I date before I get into relationships
    Vote A
  • I find myself getting into relationships and see where it goes
    Vote B
  • I casually date without the intention of a relationship
    Vote C
  • Other (explain)
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think dating is a good idea before actually committing to a relationship. When you go out with a person on the 'first date' everyone is on their best behavior. So it is kind of hard to judge actual compatibility for more long term relationship. Although it has been many years since I have dated, if I was dating I wouldn't mind someone who was 'dating' multiple people as long as they were honest about things up front. This also can give you clues and insight on how a person is. Are they overly jealous? Are they okay with you have friends of the opposite sex? Are they controlling right away wanting to know what you are doing and where you are at.

    I would say if I was dating I would probably go out with someone as 'friends' for at least a month or so before even thinking about an actual date much less commitment.

    However consider the fact that I have been with my husband for over 20yrs now so for me it would be a lot different then the younger generations. My husband and I dated for about a year exclusively and then lived together for a year before we actually got married. This is what worked for us, however it is not necessarily what will work for everyone else. Good Luck with your search and dating =) Just keep it honest and you should have no problem finding the right person for you.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • For me, dating is almost pointless because many people make snap-judgments on the first date. They see something they don't like and they move on to the next guy and guys do it to girls of course too. If you think about the first person you fell in love with, any of the things that originally bothered you a little bit about them, no longer mattered to you, because you accepted them for any kind of imperfection they had. People don't give dating time anymore it seems. So, if I were to start dating again, I'd say I'd make a "contract" with the person before the first date. No dressing up. No expensive dinner. No alcohol. Just have a cup of coffee or tea somewhere with a relaxed atmosphere with zero expectations. And if it goes well, you have another date. If the two people are repulsed by each other, then no second date.

    • I agree some people are so worried about first impressions that they can forget to be themselves I prefer a casual atmosphere nothing fancy where we can just talk and get to know each other. I try not to make judgements because you really can be wrong about someone. If I find something I don't like depending on what it is I weight out everything else I like a little mystery sometimes :)

    • I agree. I mean, you could say something weird or be really nervous and say something in a way that makes them think you meant something different. And then you try to explain yourself when you see the look on their face and they just think you're lying. Haha. It's kind of funny, but it sucks too that people aren't more open. Maybe coffee is a bad idea. Maybe something like chamomile tea or lemon balm tea is a good idea - slow your mind down a bit =)

  • I've only been in one relationship (my current one), so my answer will be kind of limited. I met her online, and we talked every day, sometimes for hours (long distance). After about a month, we made it official that we were in an exclusive relationship. Our actual "dating" only occurs when we get to visit each other (twice so far over the past 10 months, for a week each time).

    In a way, our relationship has progressed much faster due to the distance than it would have if we lived near each other. We talked more than 40 hours on the phone the first month alone (not to mention texting and Skype), which is the equivalent of a LOT of dates.

    • I think that still counts as dating :) and your situation allowed you to get to know each other even better, I think talking on the phone and Skype is a great way to feel a connection because you see each other and can hear their voice.

  • I feel like the first date is a chance to size the person you've invited up. By my definition, the first date is an opportunity to evaluate the possibilities of pursuing a relationship. If a second date happens, it means we've decided there's a high-enough probability of things working out for our relationship to be worth the mutual time investment.

    • Sounds really interesting lol I don't know why i never dated before but my last two relationships were long-term. I still could have found some red flags and made better choices.

    • I actually got that advice from a girl before during a casual discussion. She's a good friend of mine and this outlook is (how do I say it...) a "pro strat".

What Girls Said 5

  • I have only been in two relationships, although I will only ever consider my second one my real one. My "first" one was the guy trying to see if we were comfortable with each other before we dated/became boyfriend and girlfriend. The second guy, the one I am with now, asked me to be his girlfriend, but we had a different situation so dating seemed kind of pointless to us. It should be whatever you feel comfortable with. If you would like to get to know someone before you officially call them yours, then date them until you would like to call them your boyfriend/girlfriend. For me, dating is getting to know someone, so my time span would be a year maximum. Anything longer and you got yourself a problem.

    • Yeah I kind of just ended up with with my last 2 boyfriends but I still wish I would have dated the last one because maybe I would have seen something and I would not have been with him. He was really crazy

    • Exactly. Dating is a great way to get to know someone. But if you've known that person for awhile like I have with my boyfriend, dating isn't necessary.

  • I make friendships with a clear prospect of a future romantic relationship before I make a final decision...
    If he's compatible -after a while of getting to know him- we get into a relationship. Easy. =)

    (well... not really as easy as it sounds... xD)

    • Right that is very reasonable and not necessarily the same as the friend zone that so many guys loathe about lol

    • True... We like each other in the beginning, BUT before we really get to know one another, it's silly to get into a relationship...

  • Dating is about getting to know someone. It's why you aren't suppose to bring a guy home on the first date.

    • I already knew the second part that's for sure lol though I know some girls that do it and wonder why the guy doesn't want to take things further

    • Yeah, the second part is pretty well know lol. There is this idea that dating is only suppose to be romantic and it's this supper special thing. It isn't really that way at all.

  • With my first relationship, I didn't really date before agreeing to become his girlfriend and later I regretted it. My current boyfriend and I dated for a month exclusively before becoming bf/gf.

    • cool i regret not dating also

    • Funny thing is, I was only a freshman and I thought that's what everybody did. I didn't understand the concept of dating and getting to know someone before making a commitment.

    • Lol, pretty much do you like me yes or no ok we go together i remember those days

  • i normally just go into the relationships mostly because my nan is real strict and wouldn't let me out on dates, but i think you should probably date first because none of my relationships so far have lasted longer then 4 months

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