Is it Me or Is it Him?

I've had a crush on this guy since we were juniors in high school. Back then I was very shy so I never said anything about it...2Yrs ago he asks me to help him with an assignment that required I take an MBTI test. Gave him my results and because of my results (INFJ ) he began to secretly like me too ( he had a gf at the time) so 8 months ago he hits me up apparently they spilt about a year after he contacted me... So we began to date or so I thought... we hung out, went out to eat, talked via phone (almost every app there is) we were very very intimate with one another;) and I'M not one to sleep around... you have to really mean something to me.. anyway about three weeks ago after one of our weekend long cuddle session. I go home and proceeded to change my relationship status from single to in a relationship... . thinking to myself "well it HAS been eight months"... then he goes in to tell me how I'm "rushing " and trying to force love on him... (did not once use the l word) and how he's sorry if he got my feelings in it (even though we stayed up having long drawn out conversations about love relationships and how he's really into me... so I can't help but ask is it me or him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems to me like it is him. If everything is how you say it is and you have been with each other for that long then it seems strange that he would be unwilling to commit to a relationship.

    • Exactly I was completely confused! I wouldn't have ever guessed that was his true feelings about being in a relationship with me. It was almost as if he suddenly forgot how much he claimed to be into me.

    • Ya, really weird

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  • It's both. I am an INFJ too. I realized that all my early relationships, I assumed I was in one early on because I do relationships or I am single. There is no in between. The thing is that a relationship needs to be mutually and verbally agree upon by both parties, particularly before you post it socially. You went far beyond what you are willing to do in a non-committed relationship (sexually and emotionally) and that has got to be confusing but you responded to stimuli but not concrete evidence.

    • Yea your right I really should have put more thought into it and talked with him about us even going that far. Thanks for helping me realize where I messed up at.

    • Aw, my pleasure. Good luck. Guys don't normally allow one thing to determine the direction he will go. Give it time. Guys respond well when we keep things in perspective.

  • i thinnk its him.