How do I go from near total introvert to a lady's man (zero to hero)?

So, I have been sheltered my whole life. I often spend most of my time just hanging with my family (parents, grandparents) and/or their friends. I am not a house hermit per-say, because I am always out of the house going places, but I eat out alone, go to the store alone, and go to the gym/exercise alone. I can talk to people and have made effort, but conversations are brief and unless they lead the conversation, it just ends in an awkward silence. There is only a meager handful of times where I have hung out with an actual group of friends, those occasions are sporadic throughout my life and very rare. I really do not have "friend friends" right now, only like acquaintances. I have come a long way, but still feel I am a long way off.

What makes matters worse is that not only am I lacking friends, but also lacking intimacy completely. Never had a true kiss, never had a true girlfriend, and I am still a virgin. To make matters even more worse, I have high standards as to women I seek. I cannot and will not budge on those 3 qualities:
- Attractive to a degree (does not have to be "super model" attractive, but just cute and healthy)
- Personality (sweet, caring, not easy to make judgment)
- A virgin (yeah, this is a tough one indeed)
So, I feel like I am just starting from ground zero anyways. I lost the weight, gained muscle, got involved more, but I am still lacking. People pick up on my awkwardness immediately.

Now, people do rate me mostly 7-8 on the attractiveness scale. So the looks are good, just the lack of social skills.

Oh yeah, I am 19, almost 20 and do not mind dating girls as young as 17. The place I am going next I can legally date girls as young as 15, but ethically, I do not think that is correct and parents will probably not let that happen.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, don't listen to that PUA bs. The bottom line is that you have to be confident and bold in what you do and say. It has to come from a righteous place, not some bullshit line. You also have to be interesting. Since you're physically in shape, that helps a lot. But you also have to have things going on in your life. Friends, a social network. Find things you like to do and people who also like those things will naturally gravitate to you.

    This link is from the FBI. It's how they build rapport with people they are interrogating. It has some very useful information

    Lastly, I know yours standards are your standards, but I'd lose that 'virgin' requirement. #1, you're cutting your dating pool for an arbitrary standard, and #2 - why do you want a virgin? Is it because you're worried your sexual skills aren't up to par?


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What Girls Said 1

  • ladies men are not really appreciated by girls


What Guys Said 2

  • Dude, Social skills come from experience, No amount of free advices can help you unless you start from scratch. Maybe a couple of girls will reject you, but so what? Don't give up. Keep trying. Just make small conversations, also think about it, where do you meet girls? This factor matters a lot. Because meeting a girl somewhere that you love too (eg. A museum if you're a nerdy guy, a game bar if you're a a gamer, an amusement park if you're kinda fun seeking... like that) and why this? Because this will ensure that you two have something in common and therefore something to talk about, because face it, If you're into mythology and are lecturing a girl who's just looking for some fun on the ethics of gods of Olympus then obviously she'll turn you down in like 2 mins. Therefore, start from scratch, APPROACH AND TALK, Approach girls at places that you love if possible. Also, if you get nervous and awkward in front of girls, then don't worry xD, they're just humans, they won't kill you or something, Just keep trying. It'll be difficult at first but once you get out of that shell of yours? The world will be at your disposal, my friend ;) And.. it'd be good if you drop that virgin thingy, what if you meet a girl and you just love her like anything and she's not a virgin? It's just in our thoughts. Virgin or experienced, it doesn't matter, People are people. Hope this helped.

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