Am I being too harsh?

My boyfriend wants me and our daughter to move in with him. When we first started dating I was the only one working he was a full time student, so you can just imagine I took care of lunch when we started dating, costs of travelling to go see him etc. I was there through getting the first pots, wadrobe, curtains and all that as he was staying in his varsity campus before our relationship. But then we fought 3 or 4 times over him cheating or me catching him when he was about to start and put an end to it imeddiately.
Now he is working and says he wants to marry me but I can't put myself in a situation where I'll have to invest and help him build our him as its his first job obviously he doesn't have a lot of things like a car and all that. Before all this i didn't mind because I was like but I love him. Now I feel like I'll be holding myself back by moving in with him when he hasn't put his life together yet and will need help from me and I also want to achieve things in life. The reason I start thinking about that now is I have been there for him but it never stopped him from cheating on me or attempting to since those instances are the only ones I know of four sure. What if I invest my time and money into this relationship and he decides to date someone else I'll feel used.

now how do I explain to him the reason I say we will only move in with him after we are married, because then I feel like I'll be investing my money and time in a marriage rather than a relationship that can end any day. Rather than in a marriage, and if the marriage ends in divorce at least I won't feel like that much of a fool for being used and wasting my effort in it.

Or am I being unreasonable?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are not being unreasonable. I think you can easily justify it and say "I do not want to live with you until we are married".


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