Why is it when I showed interest I got rejected.. yet still expected to make the first move?

I can't really vouch for any other age group, but for at least my age group (early twenties, college years) I can confidently say women will absolutely not make the first move. Hell, I've even talked to lady friends of mine and they tell me no way in hell will they would make the first move. I just think you women expect too much from us.. then complain about being single or wonder why we are such assholes.. I don't care how many of you say you are willing to make the first move, it just doesn't happen in real life. Yes, I'm salty. But let me explain.

So at the beginning of my summer break I hung out with a girl that I had some interest in with a mutual group of friends. About three days into the break one of her close friends (a mutual friend) told me how much the aforementioned lady friend liked me. That following weekend we all went out in a group and that night and I expressed to her how I would like to be more than just friends.. I got an INSTANT rejection; needless to say, the rest of the night was quite awkward and she left early. About a week later she asked me to go have coffee with her to "better explain herself." During our brief 15-20 minute conversation she expressed that to her it seemed like I wanted something a lot more serious than what she had in mind..,*insert other bullshit* ... both of us go to different colleges so the fun had to end at the end of the summer, regardless.

I told myself after that day I would absolutely show zero interest in anyone and unless a girl makes it blatantly obvious (the occasional drunken one night stand) about her intentions I would just not peruse anyone Well, to my surprise.. this was working out for me quite well, even with some girls that I would literally look right threw.. who would have guess. Anyways, I've had a few more than few of these nights thus far. But now the same mutual friend is telling me how hurt this chick is and that maybe I should ask her out again. FUCKING SERIOUS?

Just to reinforce we had a lot in common (both engineering majors, smoked lots of weed together) and at least at the beginning I did really like her. I haven't talked to her in since that last time we hung out in a group where all I said was bye.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because women want equality in everything except dating because in dating they got the best roles and they don't want to share that role. You'll never see women going on a crusade to fight for equality in dating. They'll claim that fighting for equality in dating roles aren't important but they really mean that they're selfish and greedy and don't want to share those roles.

    • at this point, nothing short of her saying it to me in person - that she made the wrong choice - is going to satisfy me. i did take the initial rejection pretty hard.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You made the right choice, ignore that selfish attention whore.

    If a woman isn't interested, she isn't going to make a move and would obviously reject you.

    • Yeah, if you don't think I'm attractive or we just didn't click that's one thing. But, I thought we really hit it off and her friend reaffirmed that to me. Honestly, I feel like she didn't want to commit with the rest of the summer ahead of her. I don't understand why she can't just tell me herself. I just want to hear her say it.

What Guys Said 2

  • She was playing games with you. She probably thinks guys like it when she plays hard to get. So instead of a wonderful relationship, she stayed single and you put up a shield for future women.

  • when we let go of our desires suddenly we become more attractive, funny how psychology works sometimes.

    As far as this one chick she is off the wall on the wall and can't make up her mind, you asked her out and she said no. Poor her, on to the next one.

    • by no means did i mean to say i was some sort of womanizer or ladies man, just it was an unexpected, but definitely welcomed, surprise. i was down but not out haha

    • In my 3rd year of university I was only focused on school and jujutsu at the time, girls meant (relatively) not much to me. I recall three or four instances where I was just minding my own business (in the lunch line, studying, or walking) and random girls would just come and rub arms with me. And of course me not paying attention to any of them never bothered to ask for a single name or number.