How do I win her back?

A very good female friend said she liked me a few months ago, and that she had liked me for ages and it took her a lot of time and courage to tell me. I liked her too but never told anyone because I had a girlfriend at the time.

Anyway we became closer when I dumped my ex and over a number of months started dating and I fell for her quickly and hard; she not only said she felt the same but acted in a way that showed to me she really likes me.

After dating (often, none of this wait 3 days rule) for a few months things became very serious very quickly, we had sex on a number of occasions everything seemed perfect. We both said to each other and to friends that we have never been so happy. Her family seemed to love me, especially her mam who even said I was welcome to stay over after only a few weeks of dating.

Almost overnight a few weeks into the relationship she freaked out on me and said that something had changed. She claims that she still likes me but everything moved too quickly for her, and that she thought she was ready for a relationship but now she's not sure.

I do believe she's right and that things have happened between us far too quickly, and I have told her that. I really like this girl; and if she isn't ready for a relationship I have no problem to going back to being friends with her, however I don't want to be in the friendzone and watch her with someone else.

She says she still likes me... is there a chance this can work out between us in the coming months? If so what is the best course of action?


Most Helpful Girl

  • if she's unsure, give her space to think about what she wants. Make sure that in that time you BACK OFF!!! if you smother her with more attention you will lose her. Every woman realises how much she wants a man when he gives her space. Don't play games though, just let her know that you don't wanna be with someone who is unsure of what she wants, and that you will give her the space to think, but also tell her how you feel.. this way she knows how much u care, but you also care about yourself (self respect) and don't want to be with someone who is unsure of what they want...

    • she's currently on Holiday to celebrate her birthday with her girl friends. She did claim she still likes me (I hope this is the truth) but that everything happened too quickly between us. Origionally I weas upset but I know she's right, Im hoping that is her looking out for the long-term future but maybe Im just clutching at straws.

      Anyway before she left for her holiday we had a 5 minute chat, basically to clear the air before she left. I told her how I feel about her but still want to sit down and have a proper talk. How much time is giving her time? Shall I ask to speak to her in 2-3 weeks when she gets back from her holiday, as we won't have had any contact during this time?

    • I think while she is away, do your best to keep yourself busy with work gym studying Etc., let her enjoy her holiday, and when she gets back ask to see her and see how she feels after some time apart. is away so she stiknows you care, but maybe lay off intense stuff like "I miss you" etc., unless she says it first. Just show her you're not dependant on her for your happiness, hopefully this time apart will make her realise that she misses you and really cares about u. good luck :)

    • This seems like the best idea.

      Im not going to contact her; even when she gets back from her holiday. She knows how I feel about her and I'v told her that I feel no anamosity towards her and we were friendly when we spoke and had a hug. We've been really good friends so if she wants to we can always talk. Basically the next move is hers, if I dont hear from her I know that what she actually meant was for me to go away, if I do then maybe she regrets her descision... but if not she's not in my life 24/7 allowing me to get over her - and if I still feel this way in a few months I can always tell her, by which point I will have nothing to lose.

      Although losing a very good friend will still be upsetting.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Being she has been this 'Straight arrow' in telling you she is Not ready Nor raring for a Real relationship right now, the best you can do is Respect her wishes, Remain her friend, and Hope for the best at this point in time.
    As you know there are never any guarantees in life but death and taxes, and with Cupid, this applies as well. And just the Mere Thoughts, with a dagger in your heart because of her Terms, it won't be easy. For the time being, go slow with the flow, give her some room, no pressures.
    Of course, with no ties, no being hooked at the hip, there Isn't any sure thing that she Won't be 'With someone else' down the road, but it then would have to be your choice, your call, whether to Continue being in the 'Friend zone,' go about your life, accepting it for what it is Or------Give her her walking papers and move on because you are not sure you can Handle the hurt.
    Good luck. xx

  • Yes but give her some space and be patient. Be her friend a good friend to her, a shoulder to lean on but let her come to you. She will feel comfortable with you again and see that your not rushing her so she will come back to you just give it some time, in the mean time be a good friend and that's what will get her back :)

    • How do I ensure I can be her friend without being in the "friend-zone"?

What Guys Said 1

  • i am in the same boat as you my friend i am giving my ex girlfriend space unlike you i pushed her to far by not giving her space and kept fighting for her now she is talking to one of her friends ( but i know i can get her back ) i know how u feel u dont want to stop fighting for her because u are scared she will leave you for someone else or something , but my friend its the other way around u have to give her space to clear her head , and dont contact her let her contact you first it will show u if she cares and etc u should try the No contact rule but dont over do still talk to her when she hits u up just dont send her back the text right away she wanted the space let her hit u up and u will see results trust me i am doing the NC rule and my ex girlfriend hits me up everyday since i told her i accepted the friendship and everything lol

    • So I shouldn't initiate contact when she gets home from her holiday I should let her contact me?

    • Show All
    • I may do that, thank you.

    • Your welcome i am saying message me because we kind of going threw the same thing and we are aroun the same age group and i can help u so np

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