Can having sex with a guy who is not your boyfriend cause him to want to be your boyfriend?

If you are talking to a guy but things are not yet official between the two of you should you have sex with him? Will having sex with him make him want to be your boyfriend or will it make him not see you as girlfriend material?


Most Helpful Guy

  • In some cases it can men like to attach it's something we grow up doing, and as we age the goal is to detach more and more to a good point. Not all men can get to that point though and for some especially if they are younger may attach in the way your describing. That sex is and attaching thing and they may want you to be there girl after. In your case you really should no matter his age if you feel you want a relationship and not just sex then take time to date and get to know him better before sex. Let him know that so that way you can build a stronger bond with each other because you don't want a relationship based off of sex you want a relationship based off of common interest and trust. That is where many women and men for that matter fall short they have sex thinking well we can build a relationship off this, and it turns out not being what they want. So really if you want something deeper than just sex take your time with it. A good date to sex ratio is different for every one so talk to him about how many dates he thinks is acceptable before sex and have your own number ready and find a good balance between those numbers that's a good way to set the pace of a relationship before sex happens. Another common mistake is in not setting ground rules like what is considered cheating and what is not. People often forget that they have two different mentality's on it most of the time it creates problems later on. So tell him what you think and let him give his opinion and again make a good balance and have it set in stone. In reality you probably already know these things, but as it happens that in the middle people forget to do these things and that causes issues. So i remind you so that way you can have as smooth a transition as possible in to the relationship and hopefully have a smooth relationship because that's the goal of a relationship; to be with each other, but not to have it so rocky. If it fails you end on mutual and good terms not out of anger.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Usually, it would probably not help, in fact it often puts them off if they were initially interested (and it happened a bit early). Im sure some guys do bond over sex, but I don't most guys change after sex the way most girls do.

    • So I shouldn't have sex with him until we enter a relationship?

    • Show All
    • 2months + is good. As long as he's not seeing anyone else lol.

    • Yea, I don't know if he's seeing anyone else =/

  • HEEELLL no he won't see you a anything other than a girl he hooked up with... even if he does like you giving that away too easy might turn him away, and he might just see you as his own personal rag doll
    (sorry if thats blunt)
    and i've seen this happen before, girls don't realize that for guys sex is purely physical, none of the emotion girls feel about it even registers for us,

    if he's gonna be your boyfriend it will happen naturally, don't try to force anything

  • It really depends on him as a person and how he feels about you.

    • How can I find out how he feels for me?

    • You can't ask, so you can only find out by trying and see. However, as others have pointed out
      it's not very likely to help.

What Girls Said 1

  • No it can't if that's not what he wants. it may make him loose interest because u slept with him without any relationship but ask him and listen to what he thinks. if a man likes u nothing can stop him

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