Why does he always ignore me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years we had like a year break during that time. he's very serious about our relationship, but tends to ignore me even after getting into the smallest and most unreasonable arguments. I don't understand why he's ignoring me when he can straight up tell me he doesn't want to talk to me. Why does he ignore me, when i am more than willing to talk it out. He cools off eventually but it still bothers me that he ignores me after every little even the smallest fights. Your thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a no-brainer response. Most men know what's going on.

    To put it simply, your man's ego is too big and he is too proud to apologize or make up. He is the type to never say he's sorry after an argument. You will find that 99% of the time, you will be the one who needs to talk to him first or apologize before he starts talking again. Even if he was wrong, his pride prevents him from admitting it to you. He will place his pride above the well-being of the relationship. A common theme is that he will wait for you to initiate conversation several times. He'll ignore you the first 3-4 times, then say something afterwards. Honestly, he may not even be angry at you, but he just wants to "win" the argument by having you crawl back to him by being the first to talk.

    In the short term, it will annoy you. In the long term, it will threaten your relationship. His lack of communication after a dispute will not change by itself. It will slowly drive you insane - especially after he makes a BIG mistake and refuses to own up to it.

    Although his behavior is childish and not very mature, you need to talk to him about it. However, you already know how he will respond if you attack him verbally about it. He will shut you out and not speak to you for awhile.

    In order to address this topic with him, you need to lower your offense and do not raise your voice. You need to tell him that ignoring you after an argument does not give you confidence in your relationship and that it makes you feel like he doesn't care because his pride is more important than you or your relationship. In many respect, the strategy is to guilt trip him and let him know he is hurting you every time he does it.

    The next time you get into an argument and he ignores you for a few days, just start crying in your room. That should make him feel guilty enough to break the silence and apologize.

    • You have no clue how much this helped. Thank you. I'm pretty practical and had no idea about his indirect motives. Trust me next time we fight, I'll be sure to bring on the waterworks.

    • I doubt his indirect motives are intentional. It is a reflex action taken my lots of men.

      To men with big heads, it is personally disgraceful to lower our guard and say that we're sorry.
      We have to be manly men about it, and there's nothing manly about saying you're sorry.

      When men fight with other men, an odd thing sometimes happens. If they're trading fists with each other and the fight is a stalemate, it can become a bonding experience where each person respects the other for being tough. At the end of the stalemate fight, no apologies are given, but the dispute is considered closed and they will actually chat with each other in a friendly respectful manner.

      Such is the confusing social interactions of men.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Thats a way of control, girls normally do that it as a learned behavior. He does that intentionally to hurt your feelings or maybe he dosnt notice it, its kinda a negative way to get someone to stop doing something they dont like. I would have a serious talk about that. he's punishing you by ignoring you, he shouldn't do that. You should be able to talk out your differences. Like i said, you should really have a talk with him and let him know how it effects you. Hopefully he understands and he makes an effort, Good Luck :)

    • Thanks for responding :)

    • Show All
    • He's currently ignoring me because this morning he asked me to leave work to hang out with him since he was going to be busy for a while and i refused. He got angry because he said " i've done it for friends so why can't i do it for him " I just can't figure out his reasoning for getting so mad at me for that

    • Gotta compromise and show him how you feel.

What Girls Said 1

  • maybe he just can't take the way things get when you guys fight and he doesn't want to say something bad out of angry. if he cools off first then comes back to talk about it later maybe he just doesn't want to say something he will regret.

    • Probably it, since he's never actually rude in any of our fights. Just shuts up and ignores me. Thanks for answering though :)

    • your welcome :) I wouldn't worry about it he most likely just doesn't want to hurt you by saying the wrong thing.