Did I get friend zoned? Or is she seriously thinking about it?

I met this girl 3 years ago in Grad school. She older than me, very outgoing and can get any guy she wants, but on the inside she would never admit it but she's timid and shy.

I met her she was just breaking up with her boyfriend. It was bad, she got a phone call and broke down in tears... I had no clue what to do. We were study buddies for some of our classes, hung out, and are drinking buddies.

Slowly, over time, we were pretty much attached at the hip. We've seen each other date people. When things don't work out we're there for one another. Early in our friendship and relationship hunting, she was asked out by several guys from our study group. Whenever this happened she turned them down with a hard no, and then she would come to me and talk to me about it, and most of these cases she stopped talking to them all together.

When I first met her it was just a sexual attraction, we are polar opposites in points of view on a lot of things, BUT listen and respect/compromise on everything. Some things about would have been a hard stop in terms of relationship, but over time her caring personality trumps those things about her and my attraction to her is total, not just sexual.

I feel there has always been sexual tension between us, and she treats me differently than she does other guy friends. We go to dinner, and other activities together which are reserved for couples. When we go for ice cream we get one and split it, wine tasting for 2, movies for 2, and have spent the night at each others (different rooms). We talk about being on some dating website, we make suggestive jokes to one another and walk arm in arm.

2 months ago she threw the best birthday party I have ever had. She spent the night at my place and I kissed her. Instead of calling her "beautiful" she told me to call her "girlfriend". A month ago I formally ask her out, and she ask for time to think about it. So far nothing. We still hang out and are back to normal. But no answer.

  • Friend Zoned
    Vote A
  • Thinking about it.
    Vote B
  • She likes you but won't admit it
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Last night, we went out. And she text before we went out "This isn't a date right? ... You don't seem like you're in that mindset right now."

So I asked her about it. We talked about things, and she's still considering me but actually opened up!


Most Helpful Girl

  • She hasn't friend zoned you if she simply doesn't like you or feel attracted to you in a romantic way... people should stop called rejection "friend zoning"... it's NOT the same thing. If it's been a month with no answers then she probably doesn't feel romantically attracted to you. I doubt any girl would say "no" when her dream guy asks her out... I'm super sorry for this. She sounds like she likes you a lot as a person though but the butterflies and romantic feelings just lack. It's pretty shitty that she never gave you a clear answer though :( This sounds similar to when I asked a guy out in my past too who was my then best guy friend. He also ignored the situation for months till I confronted him about it. Then I got a rejection to the face.

    • Do you still talk?

    • Show All
    • Last night, we went out. And she text before we went out "This isn't a date right? ... You don't seem like you're in that mindset right now."

      So I asked her about it. We talked about things, and she's still thinking things through but actually opened up! And seemed really comfortable with the whole situation, which up until now had been taboo.

    • That's great ! I'm super happy you two managed to get a conversation going about what happened. Best of luck man. I sincerely hope it works out :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • i think she's still thinking about it


What Guys Said 1

  • I'm betting friend zoned.

    • If it's friend zone though, why is it that everyone else got a hard and fast no? And I got I'll think about it.

    • Because she's worried about "If I tell him 'no', I run the risk of having my emotional support leaving. I don't want that risk, so I'll give him a vague answer, and maybe I can string him along a few more months."