Mixed signals. Should I continue pursuing her?

This girl and I met online but I’m unsure of her current interest levels. I’m definitely into her but have been holding back a bit in an attempt to not rush into anything.

1st Date: We went to dinner at a nice restaurant. We had only one awkward lull in our conversation and ended up staying an hour and a half after the restaurant had closed. On our way out, the owner asked if this was a date and she immediately and emphatically said “yes!” before I had a chance to respond. The night ended with a hug and making plans for our next date (no kiss).

2nd date: We went on a hike with a picnic. She didn’t talk much on the way up (she was too winded, I overestimated her physical abilities) but on the way down she was talkative, flirty, playful, bumping into me etc. When we got back from the hike I kissed her and was a little surprised because she pulled me in close and came back for 2nds, 3rds, and 4ths lol.

3rd date: Dinner and walk at the waterfront park. She was running late and invited me over to her place while she got ready for dinner. After dinner, we ended up cuddling/talking for about 2 hours at the park. The night ended with a nice make out session.

4th date: We planned on cooking dinner together and watching a movie, but she cancelled on me the morning of asking for a rain check. No reschedule or anything and went from texting a lot every day to very little over the last couple of days. Everything I’ve learned to this point in my life and advice I get from friends is that cancelling without an alternate time and reduction in contact is a huge red flag this early on.

After writing this out I’m sure she is (or at least was) interested but am trying to decide what to do from here. I plan on calling her tomorrow but am looking for a female opinion on my situation.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you're very into her. You need to realize this and try to take it down a notch.

    She seems to take it easy and pretty much is letting you take the lead. I think both of you have not been honest with each other or at least have not had the conversation on what you want from each other.
    You have not told her how much you like her and she hasn't told you if she's seeing anyone else. Due to this, you're at two different places (if this makes any sense).
    I'd take it easy and leave it on her hands if she wants to continue talking (this time around). Since she was the one who cancelled, she should be the one to contact you to meet again.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • you say that your last night ended with a nice make out session. I think that's the main thing that really matters ~ so depending on how that went will decide how she feels. the stuff before sounded nice and quite normal, seems she was at least positive toward wanting more.


What Guys Said 2

  • 3 or 4 dates is enough to realize if you are into someone or not. She may realized that she just isn't that attracted to you. Sounds like she honestly tried though. You didn't mention if you tried to reschedule or who's court the ball is in. If you have tried and the ball is in her court and she simply isn't making an effort, then I would call it all done.

  • Nope. Try don't call her and see what happens. Re-evaluate her interest level on you.

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