Are my feelings justified? Or am I crazy?

Been seeing a guy for roughly a month. He's shown good signs of interest- like making lots of time for me and such and always being cute and sweet.

He wants to put off dating for a while, which I found odd. He gave me an explanation why and it made sense- long distance and lack of ability to put in a time commitment.

He did say he wouldn't see anyone else until we began dating and also that I am the girl who he would make his gf if he could handle a relationship.

He basically said we should keep in touch and continue to get to know eachother, but without the pressure of a commitment because we both just don't have the time to devote to one another.

Weird thing though. I got major mixed signals. He would say that he would want other guys to hit on me and that I should feel free to see other guys if I want.

Seemed like he wanted the freedom to talk to other girls and wanted to come off as the "nice guy".

Oddly he didn't contact me much after I moved home. Just generally unresponsive. Also did nothing for my birthday- just have me a 15 min phone call.

He would randomly say we aren't exclusive, but definitely not act like that in person. We would act like a couple and he would act exactly like my boyfriend. Saying "we" and accidentally calling himself my bf, holding hands and cuddly stuff, taking about our parents a lot, etc.

I got MAJOR mixed signals basically. So I was very confused.

I found out that he's currently active on a dating app. Seemed extremely sketchy.

I got upset and I didn't blow up but I tried calling and he didn't reply, so I sent him a message on Facebook telling him I felt led on and just confused. And that I didn't get why he needed to be active on that app.

I made sure not to come off as accusatory and I kept a level head and told him why I felt the way I did and that I wanted him to explain.

Am I justified for being upset? Very sketch behavior, right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Bring this up with him and if he's unwilling to tackle these issues head on (or at least try to) than its probably best to move. Its okay to ask a partner where they stand to them and if they can't be honest about that than its no worth the hassle.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's tough because you have only been seeing one another for a month. Despite the fact that you guys talked about not seeing other people until you hashed things out about dating/ being in a relationship; it isn't out of the realm of possibility that both of you see other people considering he said he doesn't know if he can handle the commitment etc. The mixed signals (like him saying he's your BF etc) seem like good signs. I think a couple things could be happening. He may really like you, but feel bad that he isn't able to commit at this time, so he is encouraging you to see OP. He may be seeing other people, but still want to see you and is interested in you. Or, he may be really interested in you, and not want to make it seem like his level of interest is as high as it is; due to the fact that he is questioning how committed he can be? Talking to him was a good decision.