I've casually dating this guy but I don't know where I stand?

I've been dating this guy and I am starting to really like him but I don't really know where I stand? He told me that he likes me and he isn't just here for sex... He also told me he isn't talking to anyone else. He just has girls that text him every now and then but he said he doesn't text back. Now this all sounds so great if I actually believed him... Actions scream while words whisper! He tells me these things but he gets phone calls in the middle of the night he never answers he plays in a band and is currently building his house so he is always so busy but when he is here I feel like I have his undevided attention but when he is gone he takes hours to respond to text messages and we hardly talk on the phone... It was my birthday last week and we had plans for me to go and watch him play in his band but he texted me at the last minute telling me he had to rush over there because he over slept so he canceled on my birthday and ever since I've been kind of questioning whether or not I should continue talking to him... Is he playing me? He shows me affection but with all his other actions what should I believe? Does he really like me or is he using me for sex? And what do I do to change it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he is not serious about the relationship or has way too much going on to really be in a relationship. Honestly if he was into you, if he really liked you he would make time for you. Even if he was late to his band thing why didn't he have you meet him there? Its not like it would have been that big of a deal.
    If he doesn't like you back, or likes you well enough then you aren't going to change it. You can't make someone like you. And if he isn't looking for a relationship then he should say so. The girls and phone calls are something else that is an issue here. I mean i have female friends and if Im out with someone I will text back Im on a date or with whomever Im dating. But it seems to me there is more here than he is saying. Walk while you can.

    • We were going to drive an hour from where I am to his band thing and he didn't want me to have to drive that far we were going to ride together someone I work with was there and said it wasn't because he was with someone else he was by his self... He told me when we first started talking he would answer the girls but now he doesn't and he said they don't even try to talk to him everyday... He makes comments like im the only one he talks to he leaves his clothes at my house and he brings me on dates so I'm sure he isn't dating anyone else... He texts me every morning goodmorning and calls me every night after he is done working on his house and he calls me on his lunch breaks I just don't know why I am questioning him... He gets jealous when guys talk to me when we go out together and he acts like we are together when we go out we watch movies and talk like friends but I just feel like there is something that isn't right...

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    • OK thanks for your advice we are meeting today and I am going to talk to him.

    • Good luck and happy to help.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Hi:) What bothers you is him getting this calls, not him saying he doesn't answer back, since you say it is true. Obviously you want more than casual dating.

    • I do want more I want a relationship with someone who values me... I don't know if I believe he isn't responding he says he isn't

    • Yeah the fact he is valuing you more in real life than through phone calls seems not enough^^

  • He's not playing you. Guys usually don't lie about stuff until girls start getting paranoid and making big deals out of small problems. If he doesn't answer the phone when he's with you that means he cares. If he answers your texts that means he cares. Just trust the guy. Every "player" I know is just an honest guy who gets tired and leaves a girl because he's constantly getting blamed for stuff he's not doing. He likes you trust him and calm down and just relax and love the guy

    • But he was I seen him out with another woman last night

    • Well unless you have better evidence that he is in fact being physically intimate with her than I suggest you wait to make assumptions. I have 4 girls that I hang out with on a regular basis usually as a group. I'm not a bad looking guy and could easily be dating any of them but I'm not I'm just comfortable enough to have female friends. I've never progressed our relationship beyond friendship and they will vouch that I'm a great guy to almost any girl. Their boyfriends, fianc├ęs, and husbands love me and I even hang out with them without the girls. But the level of closeness with them at face value would make it look like I'm dating them. I've had exes blow up before they even took the time to meet these girls even though I have zero problem introducing girls to them and they have zero problems meeting my girlfriends. So be careful when assuming it may not be what you think it is. I'm not saying you should stay I'm just saying it may not be what you think it is.

    • He was supposed to be at my house I cooked him dinner we made plans and he stood me up for her the truth always surfaces

What Girls Said 1

  • He is using you for sex. You can't change it. End of. Move on.

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