Is he seeing other girls? I really really really want to know... but can I ask? lol?

I have been seeing this guy. Its not serious we have only gone out a few times. He works a crazy demanding job, that unfortunately he doesn't have a ton of control over! He seems super sweet to me! and is def 'smooth'.

On our first date he told me he didn't have time to see other girls and wanted to see where this goes. That made me feel good. So I said I wouldn't date anyone either. I asked that he be upfront and honest with me when it comes to his work schedule, like if he didn't see it going anywhere to tell me because I am sure he'd be an okay friend too! Also I know I don't get the work demands so if he would be clear with me with our relationship I would be supportive.

He is still super sweet we have tons of fun together! And there have been a few issues with work where he's had to cancel. But true issues (or at least possibly true). I heard a rumor he was seeing someone else on Friday. I want to trust him. I want to believe him, and I do, expect I keep thinking what if? You know? and gossip is dangerous or can be. So I just said I heard something about you that made me feel the need to be careful to which he swore he'd never lie to me.

Here's the thing, if he is seeing someone I wouldn't be mad. But it affects me because I thought he wasn't. I'd still want to see him. I just would care a little less and maybe I could see someone too! Also, if he has been lying a little bit, which he says he doesn't do.

What should I do? I am thinking of a text like this "Just so you know I am excited to see where this goes. And as we sort of talked about I am not seeing anyone else. But if you are, or start to, I'd still see you of course, but I'd like to know about it because it'll affect the way I think about us now." The source who told me he was seeing someone else is not that reliable. But I am starting to think he maybe...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would come right out and say, "I was talking with_______ and they mentioned you were seeing someone else. Whether that's true or not doesn't concern me as much as not hearing it from you would IF it happens to be true. So are you?" and if he says he is DONT GET MAD about it. Just maybe tell him you're disappointed he didn't tell you and you had to hear it from someone else. And if he says he's not then remind him that should he start seeing someone else that he can tell you and it will be okay. Although should you end up hearing (again) from someone else (and its true) then its NOT (going to be ok)!


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  • I think that text is fine to send. It's a calm text, clearly thought out by you, and portrays no anger. If I were you, I would want to know from him for sure, so I'd send it. Good luck!

  • The best advice I can give is let him come to you. Don't initiate contact, let him do the work. If its nothing serious, you shouldn't hold yourself for one guy. Go out, go out with your girlfriends or even other guys. Until he is ready to be in a relationship and if by then he's still pulling this bs; then I'd be concerned. Other than that, have fun, keep it light.

    • Is it okay to go out with other guys, when I told him i wouldn't? That's kinda why I am like this, I def wouldn't be should he have not promised me he wasn't dating anyone.

    • be straight up and ask him.