What should I do If she comes back?

I was dating this girl that had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship. We were dating for 3 months. I know it was only 3 months but from the moment I saw her I fell in love. Never had I felt what I feel for her before. The day we had sex I honestly knew the meaning of making love. I gave her everything and I guess that was my mistake. When she told me she wasn't ready to be in a relationship I was kind of disappointed because she was doing everything she said she wasn't ready for and when I told her she got mad and said I was being pushy. Now she's dating another dude from her work and I know she's having sex with him too. Obviously this hurts but I mean we were never together. The thing that gets me is that when she was having sex with him we were not really talking but she comes back to me and tells me that she hates not having me in her life. So I stupidly get excited and go talk to her. We go to dinner and then drive to San Francisco. On the drive there we are having fun singing along to songs and I'm holding her hand. She still let's me be around her family and all even when she's seeing the other dude! But I didn't know this at the time. I mean i knew she was talking to him but didn't know how far they had gone. I see her texting him and the way she smiled I knew I had no reason to be doing this to myself. So I told her I needed to move on to give me my space. She looked sad and disappointed and told me that her mom will start making Sunday dinners for just get family and would love for me to attend. I know the dude is not genuine like me because he tried being with a girl and once the girl said no out of nowhere he likes the girl I was dating and people tell me they will not last. Her friend told me that when she told her that I was going to a concert with her and a few friends she looked sad. I have a feeling she will be back. I know I shouldn't take her back but at this moment I'm scared that I will. Help :/ she would really have to prove herself


Most Helpful Girl

  • just to be honest and to the point.

    I think you sound very immature, like a boy and not a man.

    and this girl is really a mess, only a fool will look at his own emotions when its related to a mess... move on and find a good girl who has inner strength and value

    the whole thing is just a wreck, and nothing you or anyone else ever does will fix it... be mature and accept the truth.

    how will you answer a girl who is 18 and her 26 year old BF is always hitting her and being critical and controls every detail... she can't ever make him happy and he's always calling her stupid? what advice will you say to her?
    because no mater how clear it is for you, that girl will not listen to your advice... she is immature, she will say she loves him and you don't understand him and all the things he suffers bla bla... but none of it is true... that guy is just a petty little prick, and she is a stupid girl... there is no happily ever after in that.

    so I'm telling you the same thing ~ hope you can listen, because its so very simple and clear to anyone that you need to mature, and see things how they really are.

    you sound like a super decent amazing guy too... maybe when your 40 you will be my dream! ^__^ but for now your very much a boy.

    and its up to you to do the hard things and see the hard things that only men can... its growing up, you should not have time or energy for this high-schooler stuff.

    anyway, Good luck ^^

    • Ha this was good to hear. Well read. I'm starting to accept it and see it. I have never been in this position so it was all new to me but you're right! I can't do that to myself. I deserve better than this and I know I can find better than this. And yes I still have some growing up to do but I'm getting there. I'm taking this experience and I'm learning from it. Even when I know what I need to do, I decide to ignore it because I think of what we had but it's stupid and it is childish. Thank you for that slap to the face!(as a wake up slap). I needed that.

    • haha you sound wise for a guy your age ^__~
      wish you all the best.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If she's back, I suggest you tell her why yoi don't want to date her anymore or are having doubts. But if she still pushes it, ask her why she's in another relationship. This is just a suggestion, you don't have to follow. And if you do get back together, and let's say it's only about a few days after this confrontation, I would still be wary of her. No offense to her, but she did kinda lose yor trust. Wish you luck on whatever you choose do.

  • Honestly, she might just be trying to keep you hanging on, which is not fair to you. You have the image of her in your mind when you two were together and when things were good. But now it seems like she's giving you more grief than happiness. It's better to keep things in perspective. If she truly cares about you, she'll stop playing around and commit to you, but if she can't give you what you need then she's not good to have around. If she's not ready to be in a relationship, and if a relationship is what you need, then she's not good for you and you shouldn't take her back unless she truly wants a relationship too.

    • Yeah I know. I just need to keep moving on I mean the days are getting easier now. I can't sit here and wait for her while she is out there enjoying herself. Just that when her friend and mom tell me that she will be back that it's just matter of time. Well it gives. even hope but it can just be empty hope. I will move on. And if she decides to come back well then I will deal with that then but until then I will focus on me and my happiness

What Guys Said 1

  • You are a sucker and are being played by a bitch. Learn and move on.

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