How to convince someone to live in the North Eastern U. S. ? She wants me in to move South? Help me to get her North or convince me on the South?

Me and my girlfriend really care about each other. We agree on most things and generally have the same goals, but we can't decide on wear to live. She wants to live in Hawaii, or in the southern portion of the continental United States. I want to live in the North Eastern United States ( preferably New England).

She wants to be in the south/ Hawaii:

Warmer, humid temperatures.
More Marine biology opportunities.
Closer to family.

I want to be in the North East:

Better Education system.

Cooler, dry temperatures.


Better scenery ( anything below Richmond, VA looks like a swamp to me)

Large, economic and cultural centers ( New York city, Boston, Philedephia)

To avoid the baptist belt (I'm catholic)

My parents need me to take care of them when they get older and they won't leave the North East.

I want to live in New Hampshire, or Massachusetts. The farthest she said she'd go north is Virginia ( between Quantico and Richmond).

This is pretty much the only thing we fight about. If anyone has any idea on how I could convince her I'd really appreciate it.

Presently we're LDR. I'm in New York, she's in North Carolina.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Bring her over and give her a ride of all the mountains and ask her i she will find that beauty anywhere else in the East. Also tell het that if YOU move south (like FL) you are allowed to touch the strippers all over. NOT !!!

    • Dang I did not see your age when I answered. That was not an appropriate joke at all on my part. Sorry son. I feel really guilty. I have a son too. That's why.

    • It's fine, and I thought it was pretty funny.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Why are you trying to convince her to go where you want? Why is it so important that you are asking her to give up what she obviously wants so you can have your way? Isn't this a bit unfair? Neither one of you is considering the other and to do this tug of war between which region is better is nonsense. You can't decide where to live and it sounds like these AREN'T the reasons.

    The reason I say that is because almost always, the important thing for people to stay put or go somewhere is because of family, friends, and the opportunity to find work while they are comfortable in their social culture. Your girlfriend might love her family too much to want to leave them all for a guy, under 18, who just "really cares" about her. Given time, maybe once you fall in love, and travel back and forth to see the difference, then it will be clear to one or both of you.

    Right now, I am not playing sides with this question when I don't think we have the whole story. Yes, pros and cons to both and I think family is a bigger issue than what you're mentioning. And sorry, the excuse to take care of your parents in what - FIFTY YEARS? is not good enough for me to even see you're side of it right now.

    At this point, all I see is a young, incompatible couple, and since you're too interested in changing her mind to do the things she wants, and if she's like this with you, you don't have a great future mapped out right now - therefore, not the right girl for you. Even if one of you does move to where the other wants, there's going to be nothing but resentment and complaints and the "why did you drag me here" fights that is going to be costly for one or both of you because moving isn't cheap, and moving BACK is even more expensive when things don't work out.

    • First of all, I do love her and she knows it and feels the same way. Second of all it's more like 15 years until I have to take care of my parents, and third we already travel back and forth to see each other.

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    • Oh and I want to let you know that I'm speaking from experience on this one. I had an ex boyfriend (yes, an ex) who bullied me in to doing what he wanted when it came to where we would live in our LDR. I refused to live near him because his family was dysfunctional, I had no career opportunities, and I would be living in the US which I simply refused to do. I had a career, a home, a loving family, a cat (that I couldn't transport out of my country), friends and as far as I saw, HE had opportunity where I was. For me, all I would be is a check-out clerk in a grocery store in the two-bit town he lived in. And that was supposed to be all for love. I disagreed with everything he thought he was deciding, and he disagreed with me. He ended up posting on a site similar to this on where we should live - and gave a huge list of pros for his home, and barely listed off what's good where I was. I guess that's why I'm feeling this is not a fair post and you should not be forcing one or the other.

    • My parents have asked me too take care of them. It's not a thought, or a delusion they need it. She would have hib opportunities up here. She could still be a marine biologist, and study sharks up in the North East. Her family is far more dysfunctional than mine. We've been together about eight and a half months. I promise I listed every reason she gave me, and every reason I gave her. And while I would agree it would be more practical to find a girl up here, I really don't want another girl, but I'm not going south of the Mason Dixon line.

  • strap her in a chair and make her watch gossip girl for 48hours straight. she'll start to like new england.


What Guys Said 4

  • I don't blame your GF. The Carolinas > New England.

    • OK, why?

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    • You're just being contrary. There no fucking way you could call the entire state a swamp with any basis in fact. Good luck trying to get her to move

    • I know it's not all swamp, it just looks like swamp to me, and every other Northerner I know whose gone down there. I appreciate the answer.

  • 'wear' to live? dude :P
    well, go live with her in hawaii anyways :D if ya can't, well just tell her that the northeastern part of your country comprehends the most developed and important one in the whole country, including the capital washington, the biggest metropolis on earth new york, great cities like new jersey and boston, and has a great weather. its the best region to live in the U. S. when it comes to life quality. If ya going to live in the south, well, apart from california and florida, there ain't no good places to live like in the northeastern region.

    peace dude :D

    • most informations based on my opinion, not on official statistics :/

  • give it time and her perspective may change, you're both still very young, I assume.

  • Hotter temps lead to weight gain.