Dating norms. Does the man still initiate a date?

Do you feel it is unfair that men initiate dates and pay for them as a social norm? Or do you feel that a woman should pay? Today is different because women are more self dependent, but are their reasons men should still play the role as gentleman?

I guess everyone has their preferences with dating, and if you want to act with chivalry you ask a girl who likes it. Just gotta find your right match I guess.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If I make $50,000 a year, and a girl makes $50,000 a year, and I pay for health insurance, and she pays for health insurance, and her birth control is covered, and my condoms are not covered, and when we start collecting social security she will collect higher benefits than me. . . etc.

    Then at the very least, when it comes to the cost of our social association with each other (i. e., 'dating'), there's no legitimate reason why the male in that picture should bear 100% or 51% of those costs.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I prefer to initiate, be chivalrous, pay for the evening, and so on. I think this way of doing things has a greater romanticism to it than the "let's drop chivalry and split the bill" mentality, which just seems cold and calculating to me.

    • But do you feel doing this makes a girl too reliant and have high expectations? If she were to intiate a date with you would still tell her no?

  • I believe that at least the first time the man should pay. Being a rather shy person, I feel women should take it upon themselves to ask out guys too.

  • paying for the first date isn't a problem but the one asking the other out could also be the woman in my opinion

    • I'm wondering about this because I've seen girls bend over backward for guys they like when they could just ask him out instead of doing him favors to show that she likes him.

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    • I guess your right, but I kind of feel that both should initiate dates. Like once in awhile, he'll take me out or vice versa I guess. If one is doing the initiating, and the other isn't asking, I kind of feel it's one sided. For instance I was in a situation with a man where I would only initiate dates, and he wouldn't so I felt it was one sided because it felt like he would just show up for the date and nothing else mattered to him. I kind of feel like after the first date, the person who was paid for should initiate the next date if interested and take care of the bill.

    • o yea i think the same, thought you meant only the first date.

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