Why... At Such A Young Age?

I am 23 years old. I just finished college. I have no kids. No girlfriend. I have student debt... but I am hoping to get that cleared out in a year or so once I get my post-college job.

Yet, since leaving high school, I have noticed some trends that make me feel older than I really am.

Ladies... How come so many of you have children and/or are married so early?

Before graduation in high school, I knew a few women who were expecting.

In college, I met a lot of women who were single moms and some who were even married.

Going through life to where I am at now... I always see young people getting divorced right after getting married. A lot of people that I have seen/heard getting married are 18-24!

-My best friends sister (who is now 22) used to mess around with a lot of guys in high school. She recently had a kid and is now married!

-A few other girls I knew in high school who messed around a lot are now single moms or married and even divorced and they are 21-24.

-This one girl I met in college told me she was single mom and that she got pregnant at 17 (she is now 20). She lives in a trailer and her boyfriend used to cheat on her so they split up. Recently... she met a new guy and now has a child with him. He starting messing around too and they split up. So now she has two kids, no men in her life and had to leave school.

That's my question: Why are people rushing into having kids and marriage before the age of 25?

Whatever happened to making the most out of your life? And... how do you expect to make a good life for your kids if you are struggling? And how are women going to complain they can't find a good man when they decided to have a child?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's just how some places are. In Oklahoma most of my classmates are already married or engaged with kids. It's just the norm down here. I'm not following the norm and it almost makes me feel left behind, even though I know I'll be able to take care of myself with my degree path.

    • True. I feel like it's everywhere though. I was just on Facebook looking up an old crush in high school that I had almost 5 years ago... and she is now 21, married and in cosmetology school expecting a kid!!!

      I'm 23... but when I see things like this, I feel older than I am. For real. Guess people don't really have life goals anymore.

    • Well maybe there goal is just to have a family and that's it. There's nothing wrong with it, but it has its limitations.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • I would like to know why as well. So many young mothers. It's sad.
    But it's also sad when you just blame the females, because it obviously takes TWO to tango.

  • I personally don't get why people would have kids at an early age unless you're financially secure, but it happens all the time. I'm guessing it is due to a lot of unplanned pregnancies. That's what happened to a cousin of mine and now she is struggling a bit to make ends meet. As for early marriages, maybe they really believe they can make their relationship work and so they decide to make it official. As for me, my focus is on school. Marriage and a family of my own will have to wait a while. I'm trying to make a decent life for myself first before I bring anyone else into it.

    That said, lots of people like the idea of having kids and getting married early on in life. Some don't. It all depends on what someone wants to do and we're all entitled to making our own choices when it comes to how we will live our lives.

  • To me its not rushing. I wanna marry between 23-25. Like I've dealt with too many years of school and relationships of heartbreak. It would be nice to feel like everything's on track by having a great job, house, car, hubby, and kids. Plus its best that most women have they're kids before 34 to avoid certain stuff. And its best that each child is 18-24 months apart to be safe. So yea if you want more than one kid and each are approx 2 years apart and you wanna get em all out before 34, might as well get a headstart. Lol so yea I'm thinkin marry at 24. Have kids between 25 and 30. And yea. Sounds good to me lol

  • Part of the reason is that they're given too much freedom by their parents so they go out and do whatever they want without thinking of the consequences. Another reason is that they're not responsible and think not using protection won't do any harm.

  • Yeah because single mothers and young mothers can't support themselves or the baby and their life sucks... bullshit

    Lol. And what do you think is good life. A lot of money and high degree? So shallow

    • I was waiting for sob robe to go off. Are you've single mom?

    • Someone*

    • No but raised by one. She earns a lot, works, but has time for her children. I don't think I ended up thag bad because I have a lot of friends and get straight A's.
      Having high degree and being an old millionare won't make your children happy and succesfull.

What Guys Said 4

  • Young naive, and uneducated.

  • It has been the norm throughout all of human history for people of the age you are describing to be married and raising children. Meanwhile out of wedlock birthrates were never as high as in the last several decades, nor were rates of divorce. (which is shocking after a fifth of the fetuses in this country get aborted, which is, itself shocking enough, given relatively cheap and almost universally available contraceptives) Current divorce and illegitimacy (i don't like the term either, but for lack of a better one) rates are not due to the immaturity of people who now marry far older on average than in times past. They are due to changes in the institutions of marriage and family.

  • I boils down to parenting, I grew up being told " keep it in your pants" and " if it gets hard hit it with a hammer ". While I never Used the latter bit of advice ( for obvious reasons) I certainly kept celibate.

  • I grew up in Calif. and almost no one I know was married before 25.