I'm 19 and haven't had a boyfriend or even hugged a guy. I guess you could say I'm as inexperienced with romantic relationships as you can get. Part of this is due to my shyness and insecurity, another part is due to coming from a highly dysfunctional family. Going on dates and doing normal teen things was not something my family did. Another thing is, not dating has never bothered me because there were no guys that I liked... until now.
He's a guy who I never expected to have feelings for, but it ended up that I did after I got to know him. I don't even want to look or think about other guys. None of them are interesting to me except for this one. Let's say that he did like me back... I feel as though I cannot even date him because:
-I have a bad family
-I have no friends
-I'm shy and extremely insecure with major self esteem issues
-I'm very thin, but VERY ugly
- Again, I have no friends and that's weird
-I don't really talk to people except at my job and I have social anxiety with strangers
-I have basically no life--I don't do anything fun
-I have bad social skills and think I'm boring sometimes
-I feel depressed and worthless every day
I am not looking for advice on my depression and other issues. These cannot be resolved right now. I've tried counselors and all that...
I go to school and work and that's it. I talk to people at work... that's where I met this guy. I have trouble making friends because I have trouble connecting with people (may be due to bad past). It's also because I'm shy and introverted. I'd rather just sit at home than go out and party. What do I do? I feel like I'm not good enough to have a boyfriend and that no guy would ever like a girl like this. It wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't like this guy as much as I do... please help..
Most Helpful Guy
You can't expect anyone else to love you until you can love yourself. As much as you like this guy, you aren't really ready for a relationship at this point, because you've got a lot of work to do on yourself. And maybe until now, you've never REALLY been motivated to do that work and "buy in" to the things you needed to do and face to get beyond the issues in your past. Now, perhaps you have found what you need to motivate you.
Right now, you are broken, but you are FIXABLE, IF you decide you really want to be and then do the work to make that happen. It's not your fault you are broken, and you didn't ask to be, but you are the only one who can fix you, so if you don't, no one else will, or even can. Once you fix yourself and forgive yourself and everyone else for your past, you can move on without the baggage you're carrying and be present in a real relationship. Until then, if you try to be in a relationship, you'll end up destroying it because your past will continue to haunt you and distract you.
I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth, and it's something you have to face eventually.0