Help: How much thought should I put into what she just told me?

So I've recently put a label on a relationship me and this girl and last night we were talking and she brings up relationships and tells me

"In the past I use to flirt with other guys while I was in a relationship because I always kept my options open incase things didn't work out"

I've been thinking about that and wondering should I be worried? She has said I'm much more different then all the rest she has dated more of a gentleman so I'm just wondering what to think...

Also she has an ex she is friends with still that has been guilt tripping her about not hanging out with him before she leaves for college she says she is going to hang out with him at night sometime.. Trying to understand why she doesn't delete him but I told her it's okay for her to go but should I be concerned since he is an ex?

I appreciate any replies


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hanging out with your ex at night is not appropriate when you are in a relationship. So accepting this kind of behaviour will surely come back to bite you in the ass. At the same time, it shows that you completely trust her, so only time will tell. But there are boundaries in a relationship, you should set some in order to protect yourself and your feelings.

    • Well we have talked about our boundaries she says all this flirting while in a relationship is in the past although im a firm believer that old habits die hard.. I've explained that i will remain faithful but i can't control her actions and i will leave her if i consider something a major problem and she's expressed her side as well..

      also if you could look at my reply to the other user my other question if you have any input i thank you :)

    • Show All
    • Her uncertainty could be a reason for her sabotaging the relationship. But her doing that could also be that she is afraid she will lose you. So it is definitely best to take a step back and observe. Let her actions speak for itself without your interference and you will know what kind of woman you have on your hands.

      I also want to thank you for MH and wish you good luck with everything. You can always message me if you need/want to talk about this

    • Yessss i dont want to go as far as saying sabotaging the relationship.. i know she wants to do right but i think things she has gone through in the past affect her mindset at this moment which i can completely understand but like you say i will definetely take a step back and just see if any other red flags pop up i will try to remain observant

      I should be the one thanking you for your opinions they help a whole lot if i could help with any questions you have you can message me as well

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What Girls Said 2

  • I might still flirt with other guys while in a relationship but will never cheat on my bf (ie sleep with them), unless he does it to me..-thats what the backups for...
    not sure how "open" she is though just so u know if she's like me then u need not to worry...

    • But don't you feel it puts unnecessary concern on your boyfriends mind at all? She says she doesn't want to hurt me and all that but doesn't there come a point where you put your others feelings in the way?

  • Uhh I would be worried. Talk to her about this. Hanging out with an ex isn't normal when you're dating someone else

    • well she was with him yesterday not late night and she said she told him that me and her were bf gf and apparently he got mad she says she wants to be faithful to me.. i know her hanging with him is a red flag but i think they cut off their friendship

      Should i also be worried that at a point when we were just seeing each other she says she has trust issues that i wouldn't remain faithful and she doesn't trust herself to remain faithful when she moves to college (2 hrs away ill be making trips on weekends)

    • Uhh trust issues are not good. At least she cut contact with her ex. You guys really should talk though

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