Am I wrong to be freaked out by the two of them hanging out?

I have been with my boyfriend for about two years and things are really great. We've been best friends forever and now as a couple things are nearly perfect. He doesn't have too many friends and he only has one girl friend. They've been texting more lately which I really don't have a problem with because I want him to have friends but he asked her to hang out, like the two of them. I was kind of taken back by it, am I wrong to be freaked out by the two of them hanging out? I wouldn't mind if I went or if it was a group of people but I don't want him to go with just her and when I confronted him about it, he didn't understand why I was upset. Am I allowed to be upset?


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  • I can understand your feelings to a point. (If the girl is flirtatious, overly friendly, or if I knew she was interested in him, I know that would bother me a little too.) But in the end it has to come down to your relationship with your guy, how well the two of you get along, how much you trust him, and understanding the reason why the idea of this hang out bothers you. Like you said, he needs friends. Some of them will happen to be girls. It sounds like you're concerned with the fact that they will be all alone. Just the two of them. When usually, when he's alone with a girl, that girl is you. But I don't think you have anything to worry about. It seems like he just wants to catch up with a friend.

    Try turning this situation around... what if you had a good guy friend, and you wanted to hang out with him because you haven't seen him in a while... but your boyfriend gets upset by the idea. Wouldn't you get a little confused too? You weren't setting up a date, you don't have romantic feelings for this friend, and yet your boyfriend is upset.

    As for your question... no one can forbid you from becoming upset. It's not like you can control those sorts of emotions. (In fact, it just goes to show just how much you care for your guy and don't like the idea of losing him.) But you do have to understand your feelings, and understand what aspect of the situation is making you upset and why. The more you understand your feelings, you'll have an easier time explaining them to your boyfriend, and you'll be able to judge if the feelings are irrational or not.

    • Thank you so much. The thing is though, when I mention that I might hang out with a guy he does get upset so I thought this situation would never even come up, he doesn't seem like the double standard type of guy...but I guess that's just all people haha.

  • YES! it is perfectly okay to be upset, I mean I totally would. He's YOUR boyfriend. Try to confront him again on how you don't like it when he hangs with other girls other than yourself. See the thing is though, do you trust him? If you trust him things should be fine when he's with that girl. However, does it seem like he doesn't want you to come along? If so, he may be interested in her

    • I couldn't tell whether or not he had a problem with me coming along. When I brought it up he just looked confused about why I was upset and then apologized and said he wouldn't hang out with her alone. Butttt since he couldn't really understand why I was upset I felt like it wasn't exactly a sincere apology and I'm afraid he might hang out with her anyway...

    • Well if he goes against your wishes...maybe he isn't worth it. If he doesn't try to "hear you out" then it may be time to move on :/ It is going to be REALLY REALLY hard since you guys have been together for so long. Maybe consider asking her(the girl he's constantly texting) how she feels about him. Remind her that YOU are his girlfriend

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