Should I tell him I don't like this girl/ask him to stop talking to her?

First of all, I wanna say that I'm NOT the overly protective, controlling type, and I don't usually do this, but we've been dating for a few weeks and it seems to me that he's the type of guy to be very protective of who his girl talks to and if guys are hitting on her, so since he's been protective of me, I want him to know that I expect the same loyalty and honesty from him in return. He's been talking to this girl alot, he favorite's her selfies, comments on her pictures, she comments on his too, etc. She knows he's taken but I feel like she gives him constant extra attention, which means he must be giving her the same, right? Btw, this is all from social media, I know they haven't met in person but it still makes me uncomfortable seeing the way they talk with eachother, back and forth... and I will admit I'm jealous, however I'm not insecure, I just want to know why he has to give another girl so much attention when he seems happy and satisfied enough with me. Especially cause we just started dating and we get along so well with eachother, and I know his feelings are strong for me.
I wanna tell him it bothers me, but I dont know what to say considering I dont really know the girl, and I dont want it to sound like I'm "confronting" him either..

Help me out please?

He's my boyfriend by the way
I won't bring up the girl in specific but I can guarantee 100% that if a guy was talking to me and doing the same things, he'd get pretty jealous and uncomfortable.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why do you worry so much if she's jsut an online friend? It's not like she can steal him away from you. I wouldn't ask him to do that, simply because no matter how hard you try, you will sound obsessive and controlling. And also quite immature, why would he not be allowed to talk to girls..

    • I agree 100% with everything you said, I dont even feel right telling him about this! its mainly because he seems so controlling about the guys that I'm friends with and he's jealous and protective about me, so I wanna make sure he knows I expect the exact same amount of loyalty from him, that he's getting from me.. you know?

    • Show All
    • @JulieXO:
      Are you really under 18?

    • Yep, I'm 17 :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • Okay, this is delicate territory. And I'm not 100% sure about my take. You might want to gently bring up the fact, with humor, that you've noticed he's liking all these pics of this girl on social media, and maybe that could lead into saying something like: "and we're just seeing each other, right?" I don't think that makes you come off as controlling or paro. And you're really not accusing him of anything. It's more that you're just trying to clarify what you guys are. I hope that helps. But if it doesn't, like I said I'm not completely sure about this one.

    • Tbh, I dont know if you read my comments below but I said that this really wouldn't be such a big deal to me if he wasn't so protective and controlling about the guys that I talk to and who flirts with me, etc. He's not THAT controlling but he makes it clear he wants me all to himself and he doesn't want me talking to other guys unless its plain friendship. He's my boyfriend btw, and the girl knows that, but she continues commenting shit on his pictures, and he comments back on hers... and so on. I won't bring up the girl in specific but I can guarantee 100% that if a guy was talking to me and doing the same things, he'd get pretty jealous and uncomfortable.

    • Okay, I see. And you're right, I should have read the already-posted comments before I took a stab at the question.

    • Haha it's all good

  • Jealousy stems from insecurity. Insecure enough to stalk his likes and conversations on social media.
    Anyways, you can't tell him to stop but you can tell him it bothers you. It's his decision from there, but you have to remember he's not actually doing anything wrong. He's doing something, and you're jealous about it. Two separate things.

  • Ask him nicely. Make sure that it won't come out as commanding. Say your reasons clearly. And dont try to undermine or insult the girl in any way. Admitting that you're jealous is cute for us guys as long as its not too much.

    • Ask him nicely to stop talking to her? What if he insists that she's just a friend?

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    • He'll more likely get the wrong idea if you won't tell him anything. Most guys are dense and there's no better way of fixing things up with a guy other than talking to him. Most guys are dense and they can't read signs. Another thing, if you bottle that up, that might explode at another time and that's not good. The key in a good relationship is communication. You can try to start with: "Hon (or whatever), can you help me with something? I have this feeling like I feel uneasy" or "Babe, can I talk to you about something?" And dont tell him what to do like "Avoid this girl!" or "Stop talking to her". Once you tell him what you feel, he would figure something out if he cares. And like I've said, if you dont want his attention with anyone else, then spend more time with him.

    • Wow you're completely right. I'll casually bring it up soon and I'll try my best to not sound like I'm threatening him or anything. Thanks again for the help.

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