Gays and lesbians: a question about appearance?

Why do gay guys seem to make so much more of an effort with their appearance to make an impression on another gay male than lesbians? It seems like lesbians don't put any effort into their appearance at all. I walk past a gay guy and I think "Wow. Good on him. I'm straight and I find him hot. I bet there's a whole line of fine males waiting for him." And with lesbians, there's just nothing. Hell, if I was a lesbian (and I'm a bit bi myself) I'd go for a straight looking girl cuz she looks beautiful and looks after herself. Is it just that I haven't come across any hot lesbians or they generally don't exist?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Um I think it's because you have a stereotypical idea of lesbians and gays. When you meet a super snazzy looking guy you assume he's gay, but he may be straight and just likes looking nice. But when you see a very femininely dress girl you probably assume she's straight, but she may be gay. Your going off the assumption that all gay guys dress nice, and that all lesbians are butch. But that's not true. I' wear a dress and heels almost everyday, my girlfriend does too. My gay friend "looks and acts just like a straight guy" but he's super gay. I think everyone just has an idea on how they think each sexuality themselves. Also don't say your bi unless your bi. I'm bi and this causes a lot of hate and stereotype around bi people. It basically gives us a bad name. So just say you bicurious or heteroflexible.

    • Ummm, first, how does a question about appearance comparison cause hate for you? I fail to comprehend the relation.
      Two, not a stereotype. I have met and personally known many lesbians and gays. Not to mention working in a cafe where you get to observe people.
      Just to clarify, this isn't to discuss either of the sexualities' personalities or how amazing they are as people (which is true, I'm sure). This is solely to address appearances. Because why not? It's a legit question.
      Although it's awesome that you and you girl look after appearances :)

    • Show All
    • But you and your girl sound rocking :) If I ever became a proper bi I'd like to believe there'd be a girl out there who LOOKED like a girl, who looked presentable. And that I wouldn't have to change and become a butch just to be a lesbian. It kinda kills my faith a little, I guess. I mean, we all have types you know? It's good to know that one doesn't have to look masculine to be a lesbian.

    • Yeah, you don't have to change. The key with being gay or half gay is, your gonna pick up a lot of straight girls. Bisexuals are like the gateway drug of the lesbian world. (Lol I can't believe I just said that), you wouldn't believe how many straight girls want to try heteroflexibility, so there's are a lot of options that way. Anyways thanks. And my girlfriend does rock

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • lesbians actually cut their hair short and wear glasses most of them

  • Men are a lot more visual, so it's important to look good if you're trying to attract one.

    • And lesbian chicks seem to have this idea that you don't need to look good, other chicks must just be naturally drawn to your natural sex appeal. Kinda sad cuz it doesn't work that way.

  • My sister is a lesbian and is very, very feminine, with very long hair.

    • She sounds cool :) Good to know there are attractive lesbians out there.

    • She pretty much always wears long skirts and dresses, and often vintage clothes haha.

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe when you see the "lipstick" "girly" lesbians, your mind just automatically files them as Straight.

    • Maybe. It's just a relief to know that there are some girly lesbians out there if I ever want to change sides.

  • Haha what does this say about how much men are catered for in dating... And they complain women make no effort to approach them or whatever, just be grateful they make such an effort elsewhere for you!

    • What do you mean? Sorry, I wasn't too sure which party you were dissing :)

    • Not dissing anybody lol. Just saying, gay men dress nice so other gay guys have something good to look at, straight girls dress nice and then guys have something to look at.
      Guys always have something to look at. Straight guys don't make that much effort, you say lesbian girls don't either, so girls have nothing to look at.
      But straight men always complain they have to do all the work in dating.

    • OMGGGGGGGGGGGG you are so right! And brilliant! That's genius!