Im not sure how to go forward wit this, anyone who can help me out please :)?

I met a guy in January by tinder app. We went on one date and we hit it off really well so we ended up going on total 5 dates.
Unfortunatly he didn't live in my town and came only for buisness, but we developed feelings, he told me he liked me and how it sucks that we can't spend so much time together.

He began withdrawing right after our last date and he didn't talk to me for weeks until i had the guts to ask him why, He told me he didn't have time for a relationship at the moment because he had a lot of things going on.
So since April i jus didn't talk to him, we remained friends but no contact.
Until Monday he contacted me and said he has moved to my town and we are almost neighbors. I asked him oh where did he move and he said right next to me and asked me out , if i wanted to meet him one day for a coffe or something.
I told him im going away next week but we can go for a walk by the lake here if he wanted to.

He said yes and we met yesterday. It was so much fun we did a lot of fun things and walked really far away and just had a blast. On our way home he told me to never hesitate with contacting him , whenever i want to hang out or if i am bored. He also said you should come and check out my place, have some coffe one day.

I went home and i wrote him and just joked about how i scratched my foot and he was like well now you can look at the scar and be reminded of our fun day together etc.
I told him it was nice to see you, i had fun, maybe we can hang out again when im back.
He replied with saying yes, we can :) it was fun:p

So now that he is back i want to begin by going slowly and dont be much and naggy.
Was it a desperate act of me to say it was nice to see you i had fun? I guess i expected him to say the same thing.. but guys and girls from this what is your outlook on my situation?
thanks :)

his place*


Most Helpful Guy

  • From what you've said I think you've done nothing wrong and your reaction was perfectly fine and justified.

    From his actions, the with drawal after returning home after the business trip, I think it was the right thing to do seeing as the likelihood of a long distance relationship tends to and often does deteriorate, so don't hold that one against him, it was the right to do.

    I think this is a great thing you got going and if you two are happy thats all that matters. From his actions after the business trip (the withdrawal) and seeing as how he contacted you when he moved closer, I think his intentions are sincere and he is a good bloke. That being said, always be careful, you can never be too sure.

    Best of wishes and I hope it works out for the best, for you two :)

    • Thank you for your awnser, its what i looked for :)

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    • A part of me is also scared to take a chance with him again, to contact him etc, to ask to meet. Im afraid of getting hurt. I've been used to no contact for months and im okay and good now..

    • Fair enough and that's only natural, but I guess thats all apart of taking a chance and hoping for the best. Taking that chance may be the best decision you've ever made, you won't know unless you do. A piece of advice, take a chance, you seem to like this bloke, but know that there is a potential he may hurt you so don't be too expecting or optimistic. Easier said than done, I know, but its the safest way to go ahead. Good luck :) Any question or anything at all, you know where to find me :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Looks good to me. Date #2 (Since he's local) maybe go for the kiss this time if you haven't already or at least give him a good shot at going for it. Beware of sex too soon, but keep building up that bond. Looks like you both have class.

    • We have had sex before when we dated on the third date and he didn't kiss me when I met him this time.

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    • I guess im afraid to be friend zoned :p i was a bit upset that he didn't kiss me but i mean it would have been weird also

    • Kiss on the next date would be good in order to avoid friend zone. Kiss every date after that. But no to sex until he's actually your BF. If he's actually interested in you and not just your body, it won't be a problem. If you get to the point where things get sexual and you both can't resist, tell him you want to be exclusive right then and there. He'll say yes if he wants more than just the sex. If he says no, that's huge red flag that he wants sex but not a relationship. Hope things work out for you. Good Luck.

  • I think the relationship you have with him is still very much inchoate. As for the outlook on your situation, it seems like it is going well for now.
    Just don't ever be naive, alright. (:
    You have to protect yourself too.

    Anyway, why not get to know him better then decide. Get to know his nature, what pleases and what annoys him, his habits and etc. Two persons of different nature may not be compatible with each other. So don't rush, find out enough about him before you ask him to be your bf or vice versa.

    You don't sound desperate by the way when you said you had fun. You are expressing yourself, and I bet he feels euphoric as you are responding positively to him.

    • I think the best way to go forward is to be his friend, to be fun and not try to be romantic with him but maybe do fun achtivities?

    • Pretty much be his close friend for now until you have collected adequate data on him. Identify his nature and match it with yours, see if you both are well tgt. Don't sleep with him yet. (ultimately it is your choice)
      Then give him an authenticity test! (:

  • You have to accept that anything with him is a 'once in a while' prospect. If you like being with him, I suggest you start looking for other guys to date, and if he happens to be in town and you're free - go out with him. Nothing is going to materialize, so don't invest more effort into him than he is in you.

    • But he does live in my town now. Like 5 min away from me.

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    • Did you even read what i wrote? :p

    • I skimmed. It was a lot of words this early in the morning. you didn't do anything wrong by saying you had a nice time to answer your question.

What Girls Said 1

  • well you know, talk is cheap so just see what happens. hang out with him more, and maybe he'll develop feelings for you and stuff. and no you didn't sound desperate at all.