Too Soon For The 'L' Word?

I've been seeing a guy for around 3/4 weeks now. We text a lot and have gone out a fair few times.
Last night we went on a date. We walked on the beach and got some hot chips then just sat down on a concrete slab and talked. (Among other things.)

We've become really close and both feel really comfortable with each other. Like we just clicked when we started talking.
He's 7 years older than me, and much more experienced with girl's because of his age.

Anyway, the night was going great, and there was silence a few times, but a nice comfortable silence. Then this happened.

It was silent, we were just looking out to the water, and then he kissed me, smiled and said I love you. I was pleasantly surprised! I wasn't expecting for him to say it, and especially only after 3/4 weeks. It was the first time he had said it, but I can honestly say it felt right.

Earlier in the night he had told me he's becoming very fond and attached to me, and he's glad he met me etc. He's a real charmer.

It seemed genuine, but in your opinion do you think it's too early to be saying it? I'm just curious in what other people think?

(NOTE: Last week he had been drinking a bit, but hadn't gotten to the point of drunk, and he said I love you over text, the next morning he asked if I meant it when I said it back and I just explained how I felt about him, anyway he then said well I think that once we know each other more, like favourite foods, car, hobbies all that, then it's love. Something a long those lines. So I wasn't expecting him to say it, for a while yet, since there is still so much to learn about eachother! But he said it anyway. Was he genuine about it do you think?)

Thanks in advance for any replies :)

Maybe he just meant it as a I love spending time with you kinda thing
Just to be clear and for an update. The guy was a jerk.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think, for me at least, it would probably be too soon too tell someone I love them after just under a month. However, I remember after I had been with my boyfriend for around the same length of time and it did seem to be on the tip of my tongue whenever I was kissing him goodbye. We're still together now, 8 months later, and I'm pretty damn sure I'm in love with him now.

    I think that you sort of know whether or not you will fall in love with someone within the first 2-3 weeks, and whether that happens or not depends on circumstances such as timing, culture, religion, etc..

    Him saying it so early merely means that he cares for you a lot, and is willing on putting in the work to make a relationship with you happen and be successful.

    • Thank you, you put that well.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Who has the right to say whether this is too soon for you both or not.

    However, given the short time you've had to develop this relationship, it may be some serious feelings that do come up for many during the honeymoon phase. Also, the fact that he asked if you meant it comes off as a bit of seeking reassurance for something that I'd presume to be 100% genuine.

    • Thank you for your comment

  • Like MaskofInsanity said, I think you need to really know someone completely before you can truly fall in love with them.

    I do think you can have love in your heart and love spending time with them, and that those feelings should never be discounted because they're really special. That said, being in loveand having fallen in love is different in my opinion, and it simply can't happen in 3-4 weeks; you guys could very well be on your way there though, and that's great!

  • After a year or at least a little more, I'd say it would be fine. That's way too soon as the two of you are starting to know eachother. But that takes time.

    • I disagree with that actually. I have been in love before after 2 months. The relationship lasted 2 years, but not all love lasts. I understand love takes time, so I appreciate your opinion

    • I know it doesn't last. Sucks really. And you are welcome.

  • When the time feels right hun

  • I apologize for saying this but you only know one side of this guy. You love what you thinks he is. Learn everything about him and is you accept all of that and can love all of that you can have a future with him.

    • That's true I agree

    • Show All
    • They're good questions. I know his family are close. He never argues with them, none of his family do. I'm shocked really. It's kinda cute how close they all are. His not a mummas boy though, far from that. But he respects his parents. Which is good

    • Sorry I am a little bit drunk now. It seems he may be a good guy. I am a little out of my brain right now

What Girls Said 1

  • I think then when you start seeing someone you get overtaken by the excitement of the situation. You can't stop thinking about them and love being with them.

    Do you love them? No. To love someone you have to know them. You have to know their history, their flaws and their innermost being. You can't know that after 3-4 weeks, even if you spend every hour with eachother. Therefore I don't think its possible to love someone after such a short period of time.

    • 3-4 weeks is short. I think maybe it's the start of something though

    • Yeah, agreed. History, flaws and innermost being really sum it up.

    • Yeah sure, I just think waiting until you know for sure is more prudent. Makes it mean more :)

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