She said she would try and call.That was two weeks ago.

Hi Could someone please give me advice I am so unhappy at the moment.

I met a Girl 6 Months ago and at the time she had all sorts of horrible things happening in her life , stuff which I wouldn't want to go into. Anyway she was really down and told me she couldn't cope. Over the next few weeks and months we got closer but I kept it just as a friendship although I did all I could to help her she would call me and ask me to come round and cry on my shoulder and I felt so sorry for her she was so vulnerable that even when she hinted at more I could not because I felt I would be taking advantage of her. To explain she has been diagnosed Bipolar and has got herself into all sorts of trouble. I have always been there for her but her behaviour is so erratic that I have lost my temper at times and tented or called saying I couldn't deal with it the have been times when she hast spoken to me for a couple of weeks and then suddenly called or texted explaining she was down and would I see her . I did nt mean too but I guess I have fallen for her and now she hasn't spoken to me in two weeks her last text said she would try and call me later. I don't want to seem needy but I'm hurting and I miss her and because I have always only acted like a friend I feel I can't tell her how I really feel as it will only push her further away. Please help if you can I'm not a child and I have been in relationships before so I should know what to do but I don't. And I miss her. If any Girls out there can help me with an answer to this I would be very grateful.

Thank you all for your good advice. I have always tried to understand her condition but I never really know if its me or her condition that makes her act in that way. I have told her I cared for her but I never told her that I have fallen for her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Bi-polars will have bouts of highs and lows with their emotions. Stressors only exacerbate their condition. I am not sure if she has seen a doctor but if she is open to it then she can get on the path to feeling better. There are medications available that can offer her mood stability, allow her to sleep and concentrate. If she isn't being treated by a doctor then her roller coaster moods will continue and intensify in some cases.

    You really really have to have patience and compassion for those with bi-polar disorder. They honestly cannot control their moods or feelings. They can be manic or high for periods of time, irritable or volatile the next moment and then fine. You need to understand that their moods/feelings have nothing to do with you as a person. You have to be supportive and understanding and do what you can to help them, when they're open to it.

    If your friend isn't seeing a doctor, the best advice I can give you is to refer her to a psychiatrist She needs to get her life back.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she's doing the same thing that she's been doing the entire time you've known her. Disappearing for a while and then popping up again. I think she'll call you out of the blue sometime soon. I don't know much about Bipolar Disorder, but maybe it has to do with that?

    But I do think you need to tell her the way you feel or nothing will ever come of this. Or at least ask her if she wants to stop being "just friends" and start a relationship. If she wants to, then good. If she doesn't want to, then you can stop wasting your time and energy on her.


What Guys Said 1

  • This isn't about her being a girl.

    This is about her being Bi-polar.

    Bi-polar personalities run in the extremes of human personality.

    One day they absolutely need you and are extremely affectionate, concerned, and warm.

    The next day they are cold, brash, unforgiving, exacting, and will cut off all lines of communications.

    There is medication that can help regulate the mood swings, however there are a number of people diagnosed that can't seem to regulate their moods even with the help of prescriptions.

    If you want to pursue anything with this girl, you'll have to understand that she is not in total control of her day-to-day mood, and that it can change at any moment.

    Don't feel sad, because this is probably a product of her current mind frame, something you can't control at all.