I need to know where I stand with this girl. I have no idea how she feels and it's starting to get to me?

I'll try to keep this short. I've been seeing this girl for about 6 months, best way to put it is casually. We only see eachother once every week or so, sometimes less. We've been intimate several times, but no sex. Well it's getting to the point where she is constantly on my mind and the anxiety about if she feels the same way is starting to kick in and starting to bother me. I have absolutely no idea how she feels about me and where she sees this going. I'm pretty sure she likes me, she always seems very into me when we are together. But when we are not she can seem very distant. For example, I almost always have to initiate texting and hanging out. But if I pull away and not text her for a while she will initiate texts and hang out. Confusing sign # 1. Confusing #2: when we first started seeing eachother she was very proactive ie she would invite me out with her friends, and she would actually actively pursue me. Now she hasn't invited me out with her friends in a long time, just our mutual friends. These signals just confuse the hell out of me and I need some clarity. I don't like to date more than one woman at a time (just my preference) and I have absolutely no idea if she is. If this is going nowhere I need to know so I can stop wasting my time (if I haven't wasted 6 months already). I hate asking these sort of questions because I fear it makes me look needy which I'm usually not, but my usual try and true method of backing off until she initiates back always scares me. I can't keep backing off just to see if she's still interested. It's gotten to the point that I have to know. I'm now constantly wondering does she have the same feelings for me? Is she just using me for attention? Or am I some sort of backup guy until she meets someone she is truly head over heels for? I'll admit she does seem shy sometimes when we are together, like she's nervous about talking about something, but I'm nervous too! Please help, we r both 25. -Confused Cali guy


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What Girls Said 1

  • Girls expect the guys to take the lead and initiate. Even the girls who put themselves out there and will initiate things still expect you to do it. That's why you have to text first - a good amount of girls have "rules" about never texting first. The fact that she will if you stop texting her is a good sign. It's also probably why she's lost confidence in asking you to hang out - she thinks you've lost interest because you keep pulling away!

    Have you asked this girl on an actual date with just the two of you yet? Like getting a bit dressed up, flowers, the whole show? If not, it's been 6 months and you need to get on that before she finds someone who will. She probably already feels that you're not interested because of all this "backing off" so you need to show her that you are asap.


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