Genius = Perpetual Nice Guy?

I have a really high IQ and a do really well in school, and I am always 100% super willing to help people out. The problem is, people use me (use is probably an overstatement, but still).

Every time someone asks me for help, I help them, period, no questions asked. But, this ruins my chances with girls. Whenever I have a crush, I make an extra special effort to help them (sadly, people know me for my smartness before I even meet them at my small school). Then, when I try to text them or ask them out, its always a no.

What can I do to stop this? Its an endless cycle. :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you have too much free time if you can afford to help everyone out all the time. Join some clubs and societies, pursue something. You will have an actual reason not to help people most of the time cause you will be too busy making friends and getting to know people (including girls). People you talk to will do so because they enjoy your company, and not cause they want you to do their assignments.

    It's not bad that people know you as being smart, it just depends on how you utilize that. If people see you as a smart person who uses their brains to maximize their potential and get far in life, they will respect you a lot more than if you just prostitute your brain out to them for a slight chance at a date.

    • I am really busy... heck, I'm in 20 credits at school, I don't even have time to breathe. People just come to me whenever I'm just hanging out or trying to get caught up myself. I don't put myself out to help others (well, maybe for my crush), they just come.

    • Well if you think that helping people is making people use you, maybe you should act dumb. When I was in sixth form (US last year high school), people constantly came to me for math/physics help. At the time I was taking 5 subjects, similar to your 20 credits thing. I could handle the workload but people kept bugging me when I was chilling with friends so I had to start dismissing them. I'd be like "yeah I don't know I'm bad at maths". They knew what was up and stopped asking. It might seem rude to you, but I think it's better to not be used as a free tutor. Although it's nice to help people, it's not nice for them to use you. As for getting girls, you're just going to have to slum it out and do it like every other guy does.

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you help, you must help others without the expectation that you will get anything back. I understand how you feel, that you get screwed over by people trying to use you and not being able to attract girls. I'll have you know that those girls who use you for your large brain are definitely not worth your time and plenty of girls will queue up for you in the future when you have a great job and a nice guy who obviously will make a caring husband and dad. I personally prefer nice guys every time. You need to find a girl just as smart and as helpful as you! Personality trumps prettiness every time, and often a pretty face will hide an ugly personality. :)

  • Try helping the girl that is always helping everyone else out. She will think u are awesome and kind will love to go on a date with u. Helping out the hottie that has all the other guys helping puts u in competition with everyone, that can lead to rejection especially if u aren't the cutest or most confident.

  • Don't help them too much.
    You aren't their tool.

    I used to be that way, i only had female friends because they wanted a piece of my intelligence in order to pass subjects.
    In college i started to get bad marks so people dgaf about me. But i'm getting good marks again and people is being nicer.

    Don't leave them use you, at least use them too.
    Or look for a girl as smart as you. That could help.
    It's not your obligation to help them.


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