Why do people think you're obligated to give someone "a chance"?

When it comes to dating why do people think you're obligated to give chances?

One guy asked me out. I had hung out with him once. Yeah he was nice but he had bad friends, smoked pot, and was very immature. He asked me out several times and I turned him down each time. He told me that I should "give him a chance."I kept saying I'm just not interested.

2 of my friends said the same thing. "Aww he's cute give him a chance." And "he's very nice, don't be a bitch and give him a chance."

A chance at what? Giving a chance to someone you're uninterested in is unfair to you and them. I already know I am not interested.

So the next time a guy I wasn't interested in asked me out I gave him a chance and it was awful. Never felt anything new.

So really I don't get it- why go out with someone you don't like?

by the way this isn't a question about which gender does this worse lol so don't start


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't don't. Don't let people guilt you into it. Someone else's sob story isn't your problem! It's sweet he or whoever else likes you, but you owe them nothing for that.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It comes from a view that dating allows you to get to know someone in a more intimate and personal way. It assumes that yes you may know someone as a friend/classmate/workmate, but do you really know who they are as a perspective partner. People tend to only reveal certain parts of their character to others when dating. If someone immediately breaks any dealbreakers then don't date them, but if there is a shadow of doubt then I'd say go on a date or two. Open your mind to the possibility and get to really know someone. If it doesn't workout then it doesn't workout. I'm not saying give everyone a chance but if you are looking for something good, the guy has potential and you don't have anything more important for Friday night you could go on a date. At the very least your dating skill improve and you get to know for sure what you like or dislike instead of making assumptions

  • Lol I can't believe you actually took what he said into consideration.
    Please don't generalize like that. Chance is exactly what it is, if it happens cool, if not still cool.

    • I took what my friends said into consideration. They basically convinced me it was bitchy to not give chances.

    • Show All
    • It's gay to give chances.

    • Lets not insult the gays XD they probably don't give chances either

  • I once thought that way... middle school... sigh... I have grown since then

    I see no reason to give him a chance. Perhaps he improves somehow?


What Girls Said 2


    This dumb ass guy gave me the impression he was a snobby rich kid who acts all that with his parent's money, expecting me to be charmed by him.
    I'm not interested in giving this guy a chance. If he doesn't give me a good first impression, he's not getting a chance with me.
    There's many fish in the sea, it's easy to catch a wave and sail on.

  • You aren't obligated to give anyone anything. It's to do that, but you don't have to do what you want to do lol I'm guessing they think this, because they aren't the one being forced to do it.