What does this girl want from me, she would act differently if she really didn't care about me?

Ok so i dated this 24 yo single mother for a month, she goes hot and cold on me. During that we kissed, were intimate etc... had great fun, even slept in her bed , everything went great. then she went on a holiday back to poland for 18 days, in the beginning she texted me a lot, sending me pics from her and her daughter, gradually she grew cold. then the day she came back she texted me, i really didn't expect the text she did send me. she told me we can't be together, no reason nothing, so far i've gotten one excuse after the other. Every time i try to speak to her, she completely shuts herself off. When she is sad and i ask her, whats wrong, she answers, im just tired. When i ask her to talk with me, she says yes at first, then no, just to come back 5 minutes later, asking me what i wanted to talk about. and when we talk she backs down again. at work she does her best of acting like i dont exist, looking the other way ( thats not how someone acts who moved on already ), then she looks at me, even flirted with me once again. she likes some fb post i post, she seems to keep checking my fb profile, 2 days back we had a small fall out. after work i told her we need to talk, it really hurted me, and me angry that she acts like this towards me. she told me no, i told her , i dont deserve the way you treat me. i got home and posted a small notification on FB, ventilating myself, without insulting ofcourse. I wrote, without writing down her name, i complete had it with this, we had a great time, but its time to move on, and time for to look for someone who wants to be loved. i deleted that message 1 hour later or so. one day passed nothing from her, now she texted me, yesterday late in the evening, she did understand my post. Im still on her mind appearantly, she has bin thinking about that post for almost 2 days- My doctor suspects she has borderline, does she love to hate me, or hates to love me. some say she went with a different guy before me, what can and should i do

Im clearly still on her mind, because I've met girls before who didn't wanted anything from me, and they deleted me etc... wtf is it that she wants, whats holding her back to love me back, she did love me that entire month
Should i write her, or apply the no contact rule for a week or so, i want to write her to stop these games, i know she loves me and its now or never. drop that 18 yo kid you hang around with


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm 20 and a single mom...
    Its hard trusting after a baby..
    And she might want him because he's the dad if her baby no matter what..
    She maybe also doesn't want to move on thinking the baby dad can change after jail time...
    Trust its hard moving on from a guy who you have a baby with...

    I've been there and I did the same as her I did it because I felt alone all the time I felt he was messing with me and didn't trust this guy being nice to me. But now I like him and he's over me so I can't do anything.

    • you mean someone else then the father of your child was being nice to you_ and that guy left. I think she has borderline, she has these massive mood swings, she never got angry with me, but sometimes its impossible to communicate with her. she doesn't tell me whats wrong, she acts like i did her wrong, while I've actually bin to nice for someone who has borderline. she gives me no reason to why we can't be together, she really hurts me, i still seem to be on her mind , but it seems like she isn't able to love me as before, and i dont know why. i dont want to give up on her, but its destroying me from the inside out, i feel angry, i get more and more agressive, im obsessed to find out whats wrong, i feel depressed. Now i realize she can't do anything for it, but she needs help. im not the type of guy to walk away that easily but i need to get my act together, she doesn't need someone who is sad himself, im gonna give it a rest.

    • Show All
    • well now she seems to be angry with me no idea why, i haven't responded to her last message, im not willing to respond to this one either, because it only will lead to us having an argument and i dont want to give her a reason to hate me, since i still have some feelings for her. she tells me I've bin talking to everyone about her, like thats a bad thing, if i actually haven't said anything bad about her. I've tried talking to her aunt, see whats going on here, to her colleagues, you see im the type of guy who wants a honest answer, and wants to remain on good terms with someone, so i still have an option open , i really think she has borderline, any normall girl would just bann me or tell me lets be friends and meet up. have fun etc... this girl gives me hot and then just a lot of cold feelings, she wants to be in controll, me not replying to her, must be very frustrating, im not playing any mind games, but in this state its better to give each other some time.

    • Yeah just give it time all you can do now..
      If its meant to happen it will...
      And maybe she didn't like the fact you talked to people about her.
      I really wish you luck (: and the best to happen because you don't seem like a bad guy im sure sooner or later you will find the one:)

What Guys Said 1

  • she's having trouble because she's a single mother because the guy impregnated her left her high and dry with nothing besides maybe child support. so She could be struggling to trust you

    • her ex is in jail for 5 years, he's the father of her child. Some say she went , and she still has contact with this 18 yo kid, what can a 24 yo single mother possibly want from someone like that, who doesn't even have a job. im 26, i have a decent job, steady income and actually are a fun guy to be around with. how can i reach out to her, every time i try to she backs away but at the same time doesn't seem to be able to let me go. she did manage to understand my fb post, why even tell me that almost 2 days later , late in the evening. if it couldnt care you a damn

    • its still about trust dude

    • how can i gain her trust, i treated her with respect, we had great times, what has this 18 yo kid to offer that i dont have, it makes her feel young again to hang around with a loser like that. a guy who plays the tough part but actually has nothing to back it up. How can i win her trust, but letting things cool down a bit, everybody tells me, forget about her, she did love me but her borderline is in the way and she will take me down. clearly im still in her mind, and i dont want to give up on her, soon she has her birthday and everyone tells me, dont give her a birthday card etc... but she isn't hurting me on purpose, i shouldn't be mad with her, even if i actually im pretty angry, because i didn't deserve any of the crap i was given. what should i do , somethign tells me, give it time

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