Is around two months a lot of time for a player to devote to a girl? Why did he spend so much time lying to me?

I would think that players would get bored pretty easily if they know they aren't getting any sex early on.

The player I dealt with knew I would not hook up with him because I told him so. I told him that the day I began to talk to him because we met online and I didn't want him wasting my time if he just wanted casual sex.

He acted like he didn't want sex from me in terms of what he said- he fed me all the cute little lines- but his actions did not match at all towards the end.

He was too touchy and pushy for physical stuff. He was sly about it and barely touched me early on and that made me trust him, and when he saw I was beginning to trust him he seemed to want to get much more physical, and very quickly.

He was constantly pushing me to go further and kind of conditioning me to be okay with his touching.

He was dying to sleep with me, that I am certain of. It was obvious in how worked up he would get.

This guy was basically talking to me and spending enough time with me to suggest we were a couple. I was spending around two hours or so daily with him for a month, in addition to calls and all that.

He had two jobs and would commute from an hour and a half away.

He seemed to be putting a LOT of work in here. I found out the cute things he said were lies at the end so he was clearly just trying to get me to trust him.

This is not a guy that lost interest due to lack of sex, I'm certain he is a lying douche.

I'm trying to find a silver lining, so I'm just wondering if I can Take it as a compliment that he found me very attractive and kind of "worth his effort" for that long.

Or did he just think he could manipulate me? He knew that I was very inexperienced so I'm sure he thought he could take advantage of me.

I know he is active on apps like Tinder that get people sex really easily and I'm sure girls would easily put out on there. So I'm just wondering why he would spend so much time in deceiving me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately a player can work two months on a project if they think the payoff will be there and they have some patience. And their patience can be enhanced by either having another outlet to take the pressure off or simply having nothing else in the works at the time to move on to. A player with nobody else to switch to could theoretically just keep going indefinitely, until they got bored. If there isn't anything else to work on, why not? They generally lack the empathy to feel anything from the girls point of view, so they don't worry about how that will mess them up emotionally. Then all the nice, normal guys have to pick up the pieces of trust that are shattered and laying all over the backseat.

    Sorry it went down like that, seems he was working it from the start. A guy laughing while feeling you up, when you are not comfortable with it, is a huge, huge red flag, for future reference. If you express displeasure, he should be genuinely apologetic, not amused at your discomfort.

    Look for a lack of empathy, that's a really good indicator. Some players will be able to fake it, but to be a player, to be able to screw with somebodies emotions like that, they simply can't have the empathy needed to feel what their 'victim' feels.

    • Thank you for your advice. Had I had the experience he would have been out within a. Week. He laughed and then tried to reason with me- im a guy, this is normal, etc.

      He's disgusting. Ugh I hate him a lot. Well he didn't get much from me at least and I can spot douches from a mile away now.

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    • Lol a corpse is better than him. I'm certain of that.

      He was the first guy I have dated but I will try not to let him ruin dating for me. If I had more experience I would have kicked his ass to the curb So much faster. Whatever. Could have been much worse

    • lol, yes. Could have been much worse. Glad you are moving forward.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • typical thirsty! auugh guys like this makes me sick. don't give ur attention to him hunn. a guy who is sincere knows how to respect and be shy till u get to know them more. but two weeks? asking nudes? that dog is hungry for something else. wata total player!

    • At least I never gave him one! Makes me feel a little better.

      I'm just curious why he would waste his time with me, knowing I would not put out. He clearly thought he could convince me but I don't get why he would put in the time.

  • So did he just stop talking to you one day? Did you guys ever talk about a relationship or commitment? Guys will want to get physical, and so will you, that's normal. It's just the pace that can be hard to figure out in terms of what you're comfortable with and how fast or slow you guys both want to go. It does sound like he put in a lot of work - driving back and forth, spending a lot of time with you, calling, etc. I don't know if I'm convinced he only wanted sex and was a player... maybe he was just that into you and so it was hard for him to take it slow? Or he's used to a faster pace? Was there more to it than the physical stuff? Was he sharing things about himself, and getting to know you? Why do you think the things he told you were lies? I'm just trying to understand more about the situation.

    • He said the second date he wanted to date me. He would talk of a relationship and how great I am and how much he wanted to date me in the beginning.

      In the middle I got the same things about how great I am and I also began to see he wanted to put off being my boyfriend. Said we should date but not "now". Also got the line we are not exclusive. While also telling me how awesome I am.

      He moved VERY fast for me and I told him he was, but he did not listen to me and tone it down. For example, he felt my boob under my shirt while he was driving. It made me really uncomfortable and I was trying to get away from him but he still touched me like that. Laughing... I was obviously uncomfortable and pushing his hand away! He just pushed for what he wanted until I became okay with it.

      He was asking for nude pics our second week of dating.. I found that really weird and whenever I would say no to his physical advance he would either call me a tease or say something like "you don't like me"

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    • Exactly! Why I don't think he lost interest in me, sexually at least. He seemed to find me incredibly appealing sexually.

      If he wasn't into dating me, he should have told me and moved on. Not given me mixed signals. That is NOT ok. And he even said I was the one who hurt him by not trusting him.

      He was obviously trying to manipulate me Into feeling sorry for him. Claimed he wanted to help me with school and that he wishes me the best. So obviously fake.

      He's the biggest douchebag. I hate him. So happy I'm rid of him.

    • Ill never understand guys like him lol. They make no sense.

      I don't get how a guy can treat a girl so badly and blame her for it at the end. What a douche.

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