I guess I'm a little bit shallow. I am on 2 dating sites but have chosen to ignore guys I am not attracted to. They are probably nice guys should I give them a chance? I just wanted to meet a guy I WAS attracted to and who had a good personality but after being hurt for awhile by guys I deemed as cute I have kind of decided to change my mind.. I also may not be pretty enough to get the guy of my dreams. Am I doing myself a favor or being desperate? Ya I know its sad that I feel this way and lack the self-esteem but... I wanna find true love but I am just not believing in it anymore due to all the hurt
Most Helpful Guy
You should pursue your rational happiness.
Let's say you're on a game show and you win half a million dollars. But you really wanted the million dollar top prize, which you didn't win. You're not gonna tear up the check for half a mil.
The problem in your situation is you don't know for sure what your chances are for these various possibilities. The person being handed the half a mil check know that he has only two choices, accept the half a mil or tear up the check. He knows his chance of getting the full mil is now exactly zero. You don't know what your chance of getting the dream guy is.
Some of it you can calculate though. For example you want a college educated guy? 35% of men aged 25 to 30 in the US have a bachelor's degree or above. You want a guy 6 feet tall or above? That's 20% of men aged 20 to 29. But that still doesn't give you the final percentage chance of getting your dream guy. It helps though
Some people are gonna tell you, if you settle you have low self esteem and that no one should settle. That's BS though. Imagine if people applied that principle to other parts of their lives. "If I don't get the exact job I want, I'm not gonna bother having a career at all." "If my baby doesn't have the exact characteristics I want I'm gonna give it up for adoption." Rationally speaking, some people should settle in their love lives. But, rationally speaking, even you can't know for sure whether you're one of those people.0