Three questions regarding this girl who I like.

I told this girl that I liked her about two months ago, and she said she felt that she just wasn't ready for a boyfriend, that she was too selfish for a relationship. I told her I understood, and hoped we could still be friends. Anyway as I said two months have passed, and there is no awkwardness between us, we're still very friendly with each-other, lots of talking and smiling etc after class when we get the chance... I kind of want to ask her to do something with me on the weekend, but I'm just unsure of whether its appropriate... so 3 questions:

1) Is it appropriate?

2) How should I phrase the question - (I don't want her to think of it as a date, I want her to think that we're just friends - at least for the first few outings)

3) And if you think I should give it a shot, any ideas as to what we could do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • aahh good question here...I love answering these kinds a lot..ha haha


    1) Of course it's appropriate...why?...because you are a man and man MUST go after what they want. Never feel awkward or sorry about asking a girl to go do something, they WANT you to lead in the first place so once you get that in your head, you'll do just fine.

    2) Phrasing the question can be tricky but with practice you can find what works and what doesn't.

    Example: Hey I have an adventure for us this weekend and I CHOOSE/WANT you to come with me. (do not tell her what it is just let her know the time and date, anticipation will make her want to come)

    Example: Hey I'm going to do some errands, and I CHOOSE/WANT you to come with me. (go do some errands with her and then go grab something to eat with her afterwords because that was one of your errands)

    Example: Hey tomorrow let's go GRAB some dinner together. (grabbing dinner is different then taking her on a's less formal, it let's her know she can relax)

    3) Now here's the fun part. Most guys blandly think, dinner/movie. NO. Do not be that next guy that takes her to a dinner/movie. Take her on an ADVENTURE!

    Example: Get some bubbles and go to a park/college campus, at night go and trace the shadows with chalk, go look at stars, ice skating, throw a frisbee, mini golf, take her to the mall and have her help you pick out some clothes. Because YOU are taking her, it's an adventure. Nothing less. Go grab some food from time to time with her but lead onto the next thing.

    So the key principle is that you are OFFERING value, not taking it. SHOW her the way, don't talk about it. DO it. Lead lead lead. I'm pressing all of this VERY hard because I had to learn by leading many women and finding out what to do. Confidence is the second point here. Be you. Do not change for her. Don't try to be more then yourself, be yourself. And last of all, get out there and experience. Try not to rely on one girl to make it all happen. You ARE going to fail from time to time, the key is to never quite. Never take it personal when you are rejected. Get used to it. In fact I've come to enjoy it...why? because then I know I can get on with my life.

    Remember don't change a girl's mind, change her mood.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, first of all I think it would be the best advice to tell you not to get yourself stuck in the friend zone, so act quick, do something for her that will completely change her mind, girls love surprises, and when guys really put effort into showing affection.

    1.] Yes, I think it is appropriate there is nothing wrong with two friends going out and doing something!

    2.] Just be casual about it, try not to sound nervous when you ask her because she will instantly think "date". Just ask her if she wants to hang out.

    3.] Just leave it simple do something that includes the more action-fun-feeling like bowling!

    At first you don't want to come on to strong with the quiet-romantic-kiss-me-now-feeling.

    I really hope I helped just take it slow and always be yourself.


  • definitely appropriate, who knows, with time this could turn into a great thing... be patient!

    ask her to do something casual, possibly a group thing... something along the lines of oh me and a couple friends are going to a party, or bowling, or something and tell her she can come and bring whoever she wants.. dinner or a movie not the best bet... or if you really want it yo be just the two of you, find out what she likes bring it up.. example if you know she likes to mini golf start telling a funny story about a time you went, she'll probablly share a story next or say something like, oh I love mini-golfing, then that's your in.. say something like yeah me too, we should go sometime, what are you doing this weekend...

    hope this helps... good luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • "...I kind of want to ask her to do something with me on the weekend,..." Kindly elaborate. Is it that you want to go to a movie/party or some picnic ? It is hard to guess !

    • Well you see, that's what I'm wondering..... I'd like to do something one on one with her, during the day I think, but maybe a movie would be pushing it?

    • Hmm.

      1) Yes.

      2) "Can we go for a walk in the park ?" OR "Or , I think it is a good movie, shall we go for that movie tonight or day after ?"

      3) Don't expect anything like a kiss or something from her after the hangout. A normal waving of hand & a sweet smile would be enough.

      Hope it helps ! All the Best :-)

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