What is he REALLY saying? What does he want?

Ex became a very good friend of mine (several months after ending things). Started becoming intimate a few months ago. Have kept my options open because I've been under the impression he wanted to keep things casual, but he makes occasional comments about me dating when I am not available to see him "Oh, got another date, huh?" I know he's joking… at least I think he is?

Admitted I'm only keeping options open because I thought that was what he wanted; I do have feelings for him, but am happy with how things are progressing and am fine with letting it happen naturally, if it does, and while I'm still dating others, I'm not sleeping with them. He responded: "Casual is all good and if things change either way with either of us I'm sure we will have that conversation. And I'm not sleeping with anyone else." Responded that I was open to that convo when he was, till then I was happy, but would continue to date others until then (date, not sleep with…)

Don't want to pressure him, but I think I do want more. But don't want to lose his friendship, either, even if it means we stop sleeping together. We didn't work out the first time because I put too much pressure on becoming serious too soon (after 2 months of dating). DONT want to do that again. But unclear if he is on the same page as me (open to more, letting things happen as they happen).


Normally I would actually ask HIM about this stuff!! He became my confidant for all things (dating and life), but, again, don't want to pressure him. Sucks not being able to ask him.


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  • You are very confused and you can confuse anyone i guess please be clear about what you want and from whom you want.

    • I think when you get to my age, you date more casually. I know when you're in your teens dating tends to be more black and white - You either are or aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. The older you get, the more gray the reality becomes, you tend to be casual for a lot longer. He knows where I stand- I'm open to something more serious, but until he is I have to keep my options open. I'm not at all confused. I'm just worried about losing a very good friend because I may have different feelings than he does. I don't know where he stands. But thanks for weighing in!