Need advice please!!!?

So I have been seeing this guy for about six weeks now!! And it WAS perfect. We had the talk where we agreed we aren't a couple, but that we liked each other, and have had sex. BUT we also agreed that if we met other people we would tell each other... which if he did that, I'd still want to see him because I do, but it would affect the way I thought about him. (if that makes sense). We also agreed we'd tell each other if we just wanted to be friends, or if he felt he was too busy.

He's a very busy student, doing a rotation and under some insane pressure and that is real, and legit. However, last weekend, he ignored a call on Saturday night from me. Which I thought of as just he's studying, and didn't think much of it. But on Sunday, I saw a bunch of pictures on Facebook (on my news feed, so I didn't creep on him per say) of him, and this group of new friends, celebrating a girl he just met's birthday. I texted him again and was like "So how was your weekend, sitll just busy?" and he's like "ya sweetie, I am so sorry, we'll get together soon". Maybe, he thought I'd be jealous and maybe she's just a friend. But I gave him 100 outs telling him if he just wants to be friends that's fine. The next day he sent me flowers to tell me that "hes sorry".

Then all week I've ran into him a few times. and he's been nice, and super sweet, but WAY less talkative.

Look I know that if someone wants to be with you, they will make time. but I feelI am letting him walk all over me, by being so understanding, what do I do?

I don't care that he's busy, if he sent me a 2 line text in a given day, t. That's enough for me. BUT I know not all guys do that. Anyways I REALLY have a great time with him! But I don't want to be strung along, can I ask him? what he really thinks of me? I have other guys that are options, I'd give a chance if it wasn't for him. I just want to know if he really still is into me? what should I do?

P. S he deleted the Facebook pictures, so clearly he didn't want me to see them. So, I can't bring that up. He did it within like probably an hour of them being posted.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You gave yourself up too soon. When you had sex before anything rock solid was going on, That sent a message to him. That told him you were easy game for not only him, but other guys too. So that's where you lost your appeal.

    Let me tell you what gets an old school guy hooked if you are looking for a solid relationship. Take it slow. Don't be in a hurry to give in to sexual desires right off the bat either. Build your bond with time. Friends first without the sex. This way, You get to know what you are dealing with. If he is really into you, He will think that you are well worth the wait. If he is being lead around by his pecker, He's gonna jump ship and string along some other female. That's the reason I tell you this.

    Good Luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He's already stringing you along. Your first mistake was the whole "we'd tell each other if we're seeing other people". That seldom works even in friends with benefits situations. So, my advice is to just move on from him and find someone else.

    • That was his idea lol, good to know agreeing to it was a mistake, because at the time, it didn't seem like one.

    • It happens to all of us at some point! :) Just remember not to repeat the mistake.

What Girls Said 1

  • With all the 'He said, she said' sagas with 'Agreed we aren't a couple,' goes hand in hand and most likely in his head that it was Still Too much like being hooked at the hip, being in this Big "C"(Commitment) and with all this 'reporting' that he felt he really didn't want to do in the end----He grew cold duck feet and got scared, putting you on his pay no mind list.
    Wit the message he gave you that I felt was a lame duck excuse of just merely brushing you under the carpet as if you were a crumb, he is giving you a helpful hint now that he only wants to be 'casual,' nothing more.
    I also feel as wise as I am, the flowers were a sad story send off and that is his way of saying 'Bon voyage,' don't call me, I will call you sign.
    As far as Fb and the quick push of his magic ball less button, he didn't want you to make it your business to see something that he felt was none of your 'business,' and didn't want to have to explain anything to you about the pix.
    Move on, he is not into Anything but doing his own thing, calling you when he feels like it, being your 'friend' when he wants to, and is more into himself than 'Anything' else. I don't even call him a 'Casual' friend, but a fair weather friend...
    Good luck. xx