Not showing enough affection?

I love my girlfriend, I truly do. But she can't give me the verbal affection I need. I have to always ask where she is in the relationship. For ex. "Are you happy?", "what does she love about me?", she's extremely mellow and rarely initiates in expressing daily affection, she's more reactionary. She's had a hard past, but I feel like I'm paying for someone else's mistakes in waiting for this type of affection. I always have to go to her for this type of affection, she can express physical affection but basically it's timed, for ex holding hands: 15 sec. She's more excited around other people than me. I told her about expressing verbal affection and she says she can't and she's not as good with words as I am. I'm not asking for Robert Frost poetry, just express how she feels. She easily does it for anyone or anything else. We always spend time together though and I make her laugh.

Also she feels hurt by me expressing this, that her thinking about me should be enough... if I don't know you're thinking about me how can it be enough? I've done nearly everything a man can and should do for her.


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What Girls Said 2

  • i think i'm like that too. i just can't show my affection. but your girlfriend is lucky to have found you who understands her.

  • Every time she does show verbal affection, I dislike using this word, but 'reward' it. In whatever way you think she'll appreciate most. Whether that's more hugs and kisses from you, verbal affection, praise, etc. You know her better, but just get her to start associating her being verbally affectionate with positive things and happy feelings rather than negative stuff and hang ups from her past.

    • Thank you so much! I understand why you didn't want to say "reward" :)

    • You're welcome. :) Hope it works.

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