Do I still have a chance with my hookup?

I slept with a guy and while we kept in touch over the summer he said he liked me and wanted to take me on a date when we went back to university. I kept saying I don't normally date and eventually he dropped it. We hooked up twice since school started. I asked if he still wanted to date, and he kept giving me "idk" and said "You said you only wanted hookups". He said he didn't want to date. We hooked up and he was super into eye contact, cuddling, kissing me on the cheek, and tickling me and saying we should play a video game together. I recently snapchatted him saying I regret shit talking dating like that and that I like being around him and that I fuck up like that a lot. All he said was "Really? :P" I'm not sure if he likes me and is afraid of how I didn't want to date, or if he's just uninterested in that anymore.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You already gave him his payment for knowing you. And he spent it. All of it. Now you want him to do the job... of dating you, getting to know you. There's nothing higher, bonding wise, two human beings can engage in, than sex. And you gave it to him right away. In his male mind, he is wondering where your relationship can go. What would you like to have happen at this point? What do you think will happen now? He was only interested in your body, and you are hoping suddenly he wants your heart, too?

    • I feel like you didn't read this at all. HE wanted to date first; I said I generally don't do that. HE is the one into cuddling and doing very not casual things in the bedroom. But the fact of the matter is, he also acts distant when we aren't together (via text and snapchat). So, I want to know what that whole nonsense is about.

    • Show All
    • No worries. But, really, if he sleeps with me before marriage there is no possible way he can have an interest? We're twenty, not many people really think about marriage and sex or dating like that anymore - at least in our age group. But thank you.

    • He can have all the interest in the world, but for a man, it really makes it hard after we have been intimate with you. i am not trying to be a dick, or be negative, that is how it is. In times past, when people were less loose, men and women would not dare to touch one another before they got to know one another for months, and years sometimes. Abstaining from all sexual conduct. My thesis is that there is a very legitimate reason for that.

      In your mind, you are hoping he still wants to get to know you, which may be true, but he is less motivated. For a guy there's no more amazing thing we can do than to be intimate with someone. If we do it right off, it makes it hard for us to remain interested, because the foundation was never built. The house cannot stand.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like he's looking for something casual are you ok with that or do you want to have a deeper relationship?

    • Casual is what we agreed upon in June. In July he started talking about dating. In August he got distant. In September we hooked up twice, the texting was still infrequent but he was very affectionate and kind of not that casual when we hooked up (eye contact, cuddling, kissing my cheek, and being very goofy and sweet). I'm cool with doing THAT - hooking up and hanging out. Formally dating has always been not so good in my books.

    • If you're ok with it you know what they say, if it's not broke don't fix it.

  • He's not going to try to date you because you told him you don't date. I don't get why you wouldn't want to, I thought girls didn't like friends with benefits and preferred having boyfriends? You might be able to get him to date even though you guys already had sex, but you will have to initiate the dating. You made it clear that he better not.

    • That's what I thought. Some of us don't have time for boyfriends (like commitment/full on relationships) and some of us really enjoy having sex. I told him this afternoon that I shouldn't have shit talked dating the way I did and that I regret it; formally dating/being official isn't my thing, but I like hanging out with him and talking with him made my shitty summer much better. I also told him that I fuck stuff up like that a lot. He responded with "Really? :P"

    • Well, hopefully he gets the hint. He'll never stop liking you, you will always be attractive to him and your personality hasn't changed.

    • That's fair enough. I figure I'm going to give him space for the time being. He can initiate our next hookup and then we can see what happens.

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;